I was feeling kind of weird at work. I'd had a mocha coffee before work so I felt kind of good when I got there. I guess the caffeine put me in a good mood and I just felt relaxed and at peace. Then I guess it wore off and I began to feel tired and light headed. I was working sitting at the desk mostly but when I had to walk around to gather some books I started to feel more strange. I couldn't tell if I was just getting tired or if I was going to have another seizure or if I was just feeling uneasy because I went back to wearing my old brace today after wearing my new brace for the last week and I had on flats with no socks so my feet were sliding and making me feel off balance.
I was sitting in the workroom next to my co-worker and I started to feel really weird and dizzy like I'd just woke up. I tried to put my head down in my arms but it felt like my left arm was moving uncontrollable. I tried to say "I'm having a seizure." My co-worker said "oh no. she's having a seizure." I began to slide out of the chair and she asked my supervisor what side to lay me on. Then I opened my eyes and I was crying uncontrollably. The EMTs were in my face asking me questions. My coworker was rubbing my back telling me not to cry. I was still out of it so they took me to the emergency room.
I kept randomly feeling weird again like earlier this morning when I'd felt like I was in a trance or something sometimes. Besides my heart rate being kinda high from the crying, they said my bloodwork and urine was okay. They let my neurologist know I had the seizure but Im still scheduled to have my EEG tomorrow. My coworker told the doctor during the seizure I was flinging my arms and legs, grunting, and I bit my tongue. I dont know what triggered the seizure. Maybe I had too much caffeine. Maybe I was so stressed about having a seizure tomorrow during the sleep study that I made it happen today.
I just felt like giving up on life. I finally have everything I want and need and now Im having unexplainable seizures for the first time since 2005. I wonder if my left side getting better has anything to do with it. I kept feeling like my left arm was still moving uncontrollably when I was waiting to be discharged from the hospital. I kept feeling random tingling in my arm and fingers. I dont know. Its almost like my brain is rewiring itself to use my left side but getting confused thus having the seizures.
It seems like the seizures have happened more frequently. I was good for a month. But this is the 3rd seizure in the past 2 week. Last saturday I didnt have a seizure but I remember waking up and feeling relieved that I didnt have one in my sleep then as I was looking at the clock I started to feel nauseous and dizzy. I started to scream in my head "Jesus help me. Somebody please. Anybody help me." I could hear my screams in my head but its almost like I was still dreaming. After I stopped screaming and talking in my head I looked at the clock and an hour had passed.
Part of me just feels like quitting my job, selling the car since they will probably take my license once they find out about the seizures, and moving back home since no one thinks its safe for me to live here by myself. I will keep you guys posted on how the sleep study goes.