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Come here...... now go away



Ok. So as some of you know after stroke , you may have had some OCD tendencies. Well, I have and boy is it a pain. as some of you know relationships and marriage a part of that is closeness. Well tonight while doing the dinner dishes my husband wanted to give me a kiss. Before the stroke,not a big deal to have a distraction but this time it wasn't as easy as that. I get a physical pain when I have to stop what I'm doing. A chest pain. A stomach ache. I know I must be hypocritical to him because I want him close to me and when he does sometimes I push him away to do something that is important to me at that time. It's hard not to say,'don't take it personal'. For the longest time the stroke was something I had to deal with. I think it was because it's hard to understand something that you don't know a lot about on top of not showing 'stroke'. It struck me today while baking cookies ( i was in a mood) and listening to 'This American Life' on NPR radio and they were talking about the vets coming home and dealing with PTSD.((Post traumatic Stress Disorder)) I was diagnosed with PTSD after my abusive relationship with my ex husband and I was after my stroke. The show was about how the vets get such a bad wrap for going through so many emotions after service. I realized my OCD and PTSD have some of the same symptoms.

  • You may not have positive or loving feelings toward other people and may stay away from relationships.
  • Suddenly become angry or irritable.
  • Have a hard time sleeping.
  • Have trouble concentrating.
  • Fear for your safety and always feel on guard.
  • Be very startled when someone surprises you
  • OCD
  • Obsessive thoughts
    • Fear of dirt or germs or overconcern about body smells/secretions or the proper functioning of the body
    • Overconcern with order, neatness, and exactness
    • Fear of thinking bad thoughts or doing something embarrassing
    • Constantly thinking of certain sounds, words, or numbers, or a preoccupation with counting or checking
    • Constant need for approval or the need to apologize
    • Fear that something terrible will happen or fear of harming yourself or someone else



They're not cut an dry a like but some of the same feeling are the same. I do meditate, acupuncture and they help. I've tried to explain my thought process but its hard


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I can relate a little bit about that. I don't think, for me, that it is OCD, although I definitely can have some of those tendencies. For me, some jobs would take sooooo much kicking my own butt to get me going on them, and the last thing I needed was someone/thing to stop my momentum and have to kick my butt for 3 days to get started again!


Oh yea.... maybe you also realize that with men, one kiss leads to another kiss, and there went the job you were sweating over.

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kelly :


I am glad you are realizing that you are also part to blame in him not wanting physical touch. but I am glad you are realizing your mistake too. so time to correct your behavior too.



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films. f -i-l-m-s now backwards s-m-l-i-f was that right? Better do it again, films so s-m-l-i-f, now from the middle to the beginning and end l-m-i-f-s, over and over for 4 hours one night. It is to so bad when you get a good song in your head but when you have to wiggle each toe in tune separately it is. I didn't want to take the meds for OCD but I gave in and it has helped quite a bit. It has side effects that made other problems, but I can shut down better. Now I clench more despite the mouthguard so more of the anxiety med.

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