• entries
  • comments
  • views




I just had another seizure. After taking my medicine I tried watching tv and being on the internet but I was just so tired I dosed off with the tv on. A few minutes later I found myself waking up slowly like I didn't know what was happening. I thought I was going to throw up, my head hurt, and my heart was beating so fast it hurt too. I thought about calling my dad but I couldnt remember how to use the phone. I tried yelling out his name but it came as a whisper. I was scared. Finally it ended, I turned the tv off, and I just lay here crying. My head still hurts. It was like this uncontrollable fear making me cry. I said in my head "Im scared" so I decided to blog.


Sunday I had a somewhat similar episode. First after taking my medicine I was really moody and irritable. I was not mad at anything, I was just acting really mean like I had no patience or compassion. When I got back to my apartment I was so tired I took a nap. During the nap I had a nightmare. I was at work in the breakroom and a co-worker walked in. I began to have a seizure but he was fixing his lunch and did not notice. I tried to tell him verbally but I couldn't say anything. So I tried falling out of my chair to get his attention but I was scared to fall. As I felt myself sliding off of the chair I woke up.


I moved back home on Wednesday. As my brother and dad moved my stuff I felt like I was in a dream. There was a lot going on around me but I could not comprehend it. My brother started talking to me and I heard him but it just did not seem real unless I looked right at him to understand what he was saying to me. Its hard to explain and I dont remember when the feeling went away but it did.


So now I am laying here frustrated. I celebrated Thanksgiving with my family yesterday and although I cried at work on my last day, I have been fairly optimistic since moving back home. I did not cry during the move or get sad since I been home. I've just been relaxing and thinking about what to do with my life next. I guess I will go ahead and get the VNS therapy. I just want to live a normal life. Thank you all for your support in the comments.


Recommended Comments



When you find yourself in that mood PRAY, talk to God it helps me greatly! I spend a lot of time by myself talking to Him each day He allows to see and enjoy!


You can do it! A normal life is yours as we both are above ground by His grace for us!

Link to comment

I find like Fred that when I am fearful or anxious it helps to pray. I certainly hope you get a solution to this problem soon, it must be so frustrating for you. The family need to know you are safe so maybe arrange a signal to let them know you need help - maybe a buzzer or a bell?

Link to comment

Katrina, I agree with Fred and Sue,please dont feel frustrated, pray, it helps, when i feel my sprit dropping, I pray, he is my source. I know you have been throught so much, but keep on pushing through, he feels your pain. Like Sue mention, a system to let your family be aware of what is happening to you , would be a great help.


God bless



Link to comment
Guest hostwill


Katrina, hang in there, Things will get better, just not on your schedule. Inform your neuro about your seizure med. I was on Keppra, and haven't had a seizure in over 15 years(knock on wood).


Link to comment

I'm glad you will not be on your own, maybe you'll feel less fear & stress now and it may reduce the seizures.


I think another thing that needs to be addressed is does your family know if and when they are supposed to DO something when you have a seizure. I mean, if they think they hear something, they shouldn't wait till morning and ask if you had a problem - and you shouldn't hide it if you did. That would only assure them to think 'it's probably nothing, I'll ignorei it'.


Has your doctor given any guidelines about that. I mean, so if they hear you and come in and see you having a seizure, what next?

Link to comment
Add a comment...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.