the good

Well as I said yesterday, I had been feeling pretty good. This morning I felt even better because I drove myself to the doctor in the rain then stopped at the pharmacy on my way home! I have been thanking God every night, every morning, and throughout the day. It felt so good to drive my car again. I had not drove in 2 weeks. Its been tough because I get invited to a lot of christian events but I live so far away from that side of town. I hate asking for a ride especially from people I dont know that well and my dad gets an attitude when I ask him to drop me off somewhere then pick me up (unless its a doctors appointment). So I was really looking forward to going to my bible studies this weekend, church, getting my hair done, etc but now its out of the question.

the bad

Well about 3 hours ago my cousin called to ask me for directions. As I was giving her the directions my arm started to feel tingly like it had been feeling since the last seizure. I tried to ignore it so I sat up on my bed and kept talking but I did not want to have a seizure and she not know so I told her I was having a seizure and she hung up and called my dad. My left arm started jerking like crazy and it felt like I was falling off my bed. I woke up to my dad sitting on my bed crying. He told me when he came in my room it was like I was sitting on the side of the bed but my head had fell between the head of my bed and my nightstand so he laid me on the floor.

I remember feeling like I was falling but I also remember dreaming. I woke up hysterical. My left arm is sore but doesnt feel tingly and my left knee is sore. I have a headache and feel really tired but Im scared to fall asleep. I was really upset, scared, and sad that my dad took my driving privileges away. I also feel hopeless about moving out and like I wasted time and money buying furniture and trying for the work at home position.

I am trying to look at the positives though. Im still thankful for 10 days of no seizures, driving safely today, and the fact that my cousin had just called me and my dad was here to rescue me when it happened. I havent given up on my hormone theory. I was taking the mini-pill for 5 years. I stopped taking it around spring and didnt start having seizures until November. I figured it would take time to build back up in my system but I hoped it would start working right away

Also I finished the 2nd part to Joyce Meyer Positive Thoughts book. Her 12 thoughts are: (SPOILER ALERT)

1. I can do whatever I need to do in life through Christ
   
2. God loves me unconditionally
   
3. I will not live in fear
   
4. I am difficult to offend
   
5. I love people and I enjoy helping them
   
6. I trust God completely: There is no need to worry
   
7. I am content and emotionally stable
   
8. God meets all of my needs abundantly
   
9. I pursue peace with God, myself, and others
   
10. I live in the present and enjoy each moment
    
11. I am disciplined and self-controlled
    
12. I put God first in my life
    

I did not too much care for the substance of the 2nd half of the book but I could definitely benefit in repeating every one of these thoughts (some more than others) so Im glad I read it. Just hope I can belleve it and apply it. Thanks for your support everyone.