8 months
it has been 8 months since my august 5 event. ischemic stroke (mild). it has left me with a different gait, some numbness in tips of my fingers and occasionally sensations of tingling in left foot. the day of the stroke I experience much tingling (a little like pins in various places on the foot) this went away and would you believe it came back today. maybe its function is to remind me that I am really mortal and had better use whatever time I might have left cause it won't last forever.
after reading and thinking about Benita's entry yesterday I decided that if in my cognitive decline my personality changes to one of anger at people, I will definitely accelerate the end. I am really a mild person and am comfortable with that and to become one who is harming others is not acceptable. I can only hope that if I get to that state I will be able to hasten the departure of david from the world.
thinking back after the second stroke(which was 1 mo after the first) I noticed that the heel of my right foot was cold, but would you believe when I felt it with my hand it was quite warm. this went on for quite a while. was not a pain but simply a sensation.
a practical implication of my present concern of cognitive deterioration is not to have a colonoscopy. as I have been a vegan for the last 25 years the chance of colon cancer is unfortunately small. but if it can provide an exit path I am ready. the downside is that there will probably be a whole bunch of pain but I would I think rather have the pain than sink slowly into nothing particularly if I become not me as can happen.
it is really so good to have others that I can say things to that understand. to all on this net I say thank you very much.
david
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