ND is flat - and windy , nothing to stop the blow, not even trees for the most part…. so virtually everyday in ND is windy… but this spring has been colder than the norm as well making the things like stain the deck or paint the picnic table ( it is 23 yrs. old my dad made it days before he died so we have preserved it well- and we take good care of things ) so i have accomplished a lot between running back and forth checking on dan - watching the camera and cutting trimming hedges and cleaning those literally FEET of pine needles …. a pitch fork worked the best of all… i guess their is little difference between 3 feet of manure or straw and 3 feet of pine needles… Dan had a bit of trouble with the needle not being positioned right so we just did a quick hydration (IV) this past week… he woke up in a lot of pain from the port needle so i had to have it removed for a few days…

I have picked up he true blue flu… it took me till the very end of April but i got it… but my motto is work through it.. so for the most part i have been … but it is lingering… the dry cough and the chest hurting when you do cough is bothersome , but it is what it is .. and laying in bed just seems to make me feel worse… Dan has had a troublesome old visitor - constipation - but given the junk food he insists on … i don't know… i am trying to add a fresh fruit at least every meal but he just doesn't like it… he is still over all fares much better than the past but sometimes i think it is because he simply does not "feel" it hurting.. which is a curse and a blessing… but on average he only BM's 3 times in a two week period… so i keep a pretty close eye on it.. and his stools are not hard , just doesn't seem to have "momentum" …. I have been exercising ( sorta) Tag the crazy running rebel dog has found a new sport with me… we bike - we have for a while now but i found a product called cycleash that firmly hangs on to the dog so i have both hands firmly on the handlebars… so now tag is learning - almost has it mastered to pull me on my bike for about a one mile to two mile stretch .. and let me tell you we fly --- we live near a tourist site ( jamestown ND) is famous for its big buffalo . tag and i bike over there everyday and zip around the buffalo and greet whatever tourists there as we "run" through… people laugh and think he is so cool -- and tag just eats it up… he is just grinning as he runs !! so twice a day we do this hmmm exercise - although i am not sure i qualify for it… lol…. I do have plans to go to AZ next week -- getting excited …. haven't told dan yet , he is gonna feel bad not coming with but man i just need a break from the every minute responsibility… few people understand - ( except here) how every day, hour, minute, second i am depended on… and if i take "help " with, it doesn't matter - dan still wants me… if help is here, dan still wants me.. so leaving is about the only way i do get any type of break. And we have all had this discussion of taking care of ourselves, so we can take care of them. still i feel guilty on the emotional level… waiting for it warm up some so that i can plant some flowers --- my neighbor and i laughed the other day - he hollered for someone who said she ain't doing much yard work you sure are a over- achiever … i had not counted on all the work the previous owner had never done in the last 5 years ( due to their own family health crisis) so playing catch up isn't easy and there is only a small window to do these things so - I am…. hopefully once i have it all done and i am close i can be a under- achiever …lol

All in all i am still a country gal at heart and enjoy the outdoors -- the pre stroke dan did as well, but he sure has to have "perfect" days to go out now… but very little thing is a issue --- from wind blowing dirt into his eyes and him not being able to blink fast enough to keep the dirt out, to burning easily in the sun from the meds, to the fly on his face he can't get because of the paralyzation - and we all know fly's are mind readers about where to land to not get hit…when you only have limited ROM… hopefully in the next week i get over this bug , and finish the little bit of yard work i have left - i am gonna trim back the hedges to the point of nothing and start over, they are so over grown -- that it is just easier to start them over…. like all homes we all have tons to do add in a home with medical issues and you can quadruple the work that it causes … especially laundry, 2x bedding changes partly cause i am a clean freak and so is Dan, and the constant urinal cleaning, since that particular faucet is always on…. especially with the necessary IV's ( beats those constant uti's anyday !!)

so life is life around here, acceptance for what is and will be … it has been a hard battle to keep our "peace" with the stroke and all it has brought us, if it would quit taking that would be helpful… but hey what is the motto ? IT IS WHAT IT IS !!!!!! Have a great week everyone… nancyl