Nancy, sorry about Dan sprained ankle, but I feel for the care worker, poor girl, I hope she is not blaming her self. I do hope that you can make the trip to AZ, air tickets are not cheap. Did the doctor say Dan can not travel?

let us know how it goes.

Yvonne

Nancy, did you take all of this quietly? I would have done my stomp and shout act. From time to time I told Ray exactly what I thought of his behavior, how he had ruined our holiday, how I was just about fed up with my life etc. Usually finished by bursting into tears and stomping out. Although Ray was almost emotionless himself out of the corner of my eye I could see him shaking in his boots. He hated the thought that one day I might just go off somewhere and not come back and there were times when I felt close to that.

Sorry this is another glitch in the system. I have a friend with an OCD child and she got helpful advice from a psychologist that helps her to rein in some of his worse behaviors. Maybe there is some way of helping Dan with impulse control? You have to have some relief from all these problems. Hope it is possible to salvage the holiday. I'll keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

Sorry to hear about Dan hurting himself but I hope you all can still make your planned trip to AZ!!!! In my experiences along that line Dan will be up and at things after a little while because he is strong hearted and maybe hard headed too??!!

Maybe a couple Aleve gelcaps will reduce the pain all day long or for 12 hours without making him sleepy!

Nancy: so sorry. I do hope you will be able to go. Please do let us know. Debbie

I hope Dan realizes it's his behavior and demanding NOW or I'll show you, that may have cost you both your vacation. He needs to 'get it' that he is screwing himself when he acts out. But, I do hope you will make it afterall and have a good time. I can't imagine how one functions with these kind of problems on airplanes. Shoot it was hard enough to have to be at the airport 2 hours before your plane took off when we were pre-stroke. Now 2 hours waiting (plus the over hour trip TO the airport) and then on the plane - Depends & clothing mishaps in an airplane toilet closet? No, I just can't even want to. You must be a lot more cunning that I am, Nancy! Please let us know how it turns out.

Sandy, I had misgivings before but now you have outlined it perfectly. Also, I remember Larry and I sitting on a plane on a runway for 11/2 hours just waiting to take off during pre-stroke days. lol

I don't know how Nancy does it either. How I wish I was as brave!

Julie

I have no idea if i am brave or stupid-- not even sure there is a difference, we went … had some fun - dan as little as possible … he didn't enjoy the band as much as i did ( i have kinda turned into a groupie) -- i will go and see them again… dan will just have to stay home… we had a glitch outside of the sprained ankle which was a problem , but the airline did indeed treat it like a pro's -- we him on and by sunday he could walk a little and today - a little - but less than yesterday, but enough to get on the plane at least… -- it was another attempt at fun.. i guess at my age i am just no ready to quit… dan played a little game yesterday of saying he wasn't gonna go home, wanted to stay two more days… we got him up early ( my sister and I - i really don't travel alone- well stay alone the entire trip- someone usually comes and helps for a day or two anyways) the plane ride is just dan and i though...

but he was making the threat of wanting to stay ( it wasn't like he was even having a "stellar time") but he insisted he/we were not going home for two days and refused his meds…. -- we woke him at 3 am - my sis and i and just got him up and moving - we had no discussion - no options and both emily and i just stayed very quiet…. holding our breath even with the elephant in the room..lol but although i had a start off wake up of 0300 our flight didn't leave till 9 am --- so SIX hour prep - game time… got emmy dropped off at her airport and then we stopped at a casino for a few hours to kill that bug for hi… and then we drove onto to the other airport we were flying out from …. i had to walk incredibly slow and play by every rule -- he lays out but i did get him on the flight/... i agree i need to quit this - there is always some story about dans behavior everywhere we go…. I sure do miss having a normal life, husband, relationship-- heck anything - i guess that is what i try to recreate -- a piece of normal - only to always have it end sorta badly and be disappointed… I wonder where is my husband, where did he go ? this guy vaguely similar to my dan has replaced him -- and  i guess i need to accept - Dan - is no longer here…. a few brief moment once in a blue moon i recognize him… but mostly not… i just miss him so much…...

Nancy: glad you are home safe and did, to some extent, enjoy your vacation and the group you like.

Still, reminder that Dan's poor behavior only got him fun time - casino. You will figure it out. Rest up, back to work and know I am thinking of you. Debbie

nothing really to add just some closure… dan has stayed in bed all day - yuck… but it is what it is…. the nurse came and took the needle out of the port today and he would not allow he to reinsert it -- he cried and had a rough day.. nothing to look forward to i guess… me either.. yes i have the mrs. america pageant to go to but that is gonna be work as well, supporting a innocent amongst the wolves ( if you know what i mean) … but one day at a time right ? I am tired today - of my job … but at the same time if i wait another day i will feel differently .. life 101… nancyl

Nancy: so sorry Dan's will not allow his port to be accessed right now. Just one more way is he going to make you pay. You are not in control of his life. He has to take some responsibility for the way life is going to be lived.

Colleen is dealing with major floods and trying to get out of her own driveway. My best friend's father passed and services are Friday. Bruce is suffering some sort of GI virus. Will I be able to get him out? I am still trying to find someone who could sit with him on Friday, if need be.

Go off to your friend's pagent. One never knows when these opportunities will arise again in our lifetimes. Hopefully you will get some answers about your job. Hopefully our Sarah will be back on her feet soon. Debbie

I love working but it is a bit much for me…. I have always derived much of my identity from my job. Now I just am not sure who or what I am… and If I am any good at any of it… Just questions constantly being asked of myself… I wish I could find peace with what has happened and every time I feel I might have found just a little bit of it - then I have to "pay the piper" for the little bit of "peace" or fun i do have….. misery truly loves company… the grandkids from MN are here one last time and I just can not derive the "joy" that I should… with fall coming plenty needs to be done in their own home before winter and then once winter starts… travel can only be done when we know for certain it can be done safely .  Dan hasn't eaten today - i haven't addressed the issue with him, just offered - no begging , or addressing it - see what tomorrow brings.. I thought he might have a good day since he got me up at the crack of dawn wanting a shower ( he has figured out if he wants me to shower him it has to be in the early AM) … But i guess if I were him I would want my spouse, but at some point he is gonna have to shower with the caregiver more often -- she has done it and did just fine…..but for dan it is what it is… he wants his way - and like a little kid tantrums if he does not get it…