I just want to say thank you all so much for your support. I want to share my good news. I fell asleep lastnight without thinking about it and slept 8 hours straight for the first time in months I was so happy when I woke up this morning. Sunday night my (new) boyfriend stayed the night with me since I was scared. I kept waking up every 2 hours and had crazy dreams and even though we fell asleep later than my 0:00 bedtime (we stayed up watching the football game) I still kept waking up. So yesterday I came to my dad's house.

I was so sleepy lastnight and the psychogenic seizures tried to happen a few times but I watched the premiere of the Voice til about 10:30. I was so sleepy I don't even remember falling asleep! I was just so happy because usually when I go to bed early it takes me a while to fall asleep so I just lay there thinking and when I try to go to bed late, I still end up waking up super early, or having the attacks in my sleep. So yes lastnight was perfect. I only hope I can sleep this good again tonight and when I go back to my apartment tomorrow. I really dont want to be afraid of being in my apartment and falling asleep at night there by myself.

I just left the psychiatrist. He wants me to take 2 clonazepam at night and 1 in the morning. I've been taking 1 at night and 1 in the morning. Hopefully this will help me sleep better and not have the attacks in my sleep. He also prescribed me clonidine at night to slow my heart rate if I have an attack and help me sleep but Im not sure if I want to try that one because it is a blood pressure medicine and sometimes my blood pressure is already low plus when I looked it up it was listed under medicines that may cause symptoms of depression and I dont need that! I might wait until I see the cardiologist next week and get a second opinion before I start that one.

Unfortunately the psychiatrist said there is no real treatment for psychogenic seizures except what I've been doing (therapy and clonazepam.) Now my only hope is that the increase in clonazepam will help, the decrease in my keppra will decrease the side effects, and getting back on the name brand of my mini pill will balance my hormones back out and help my mood.

I just met my boyfriend about a week ago but we spent a lot of time together this weekend. He accepts me. The other day when I could not breathe and could only stare trying not to cry, he held my hand and assured me he was there. He was born with cerebral palsy so his right arm is kinda like my left arm except his is stronger than mine. Anyway there are things we both cant do with our arm/hand/wrist. It's kinda funny because he's left handed and Im right handed so we both got lucky in that our weak arm is our non-dominant arm. I am glad I met someone that can relate to me, supports me, and cares about me.