Hello, my name is Sue, I am a widow of a stroke survivor, my late husband Ray, a volunteer here at Strokenet and yes, it is official, I am a Dancing Diva. I got this award for dancing on Friday and Saturday nights at the WAGS Women's Weekend.

I have not always been a Dancing Diva although dancing was a big part of the courtship between Ray and I. I danced most Friday nights and some Saturday nights from the age of sixteen until we married when I was twenty one. I had friends, family members or boyfriends who drove me to dances and I met Ray at a dance. Ray had been a dance instructor and danced divinely, I was always a bit slap dash but light on my feet which is a blessing to your partner's feet. Being trodden on is no fun. Ray was serious about dancing and a delight to dance with.

The dancing we did at that time was called Old Time dancing, the dances were Reels, the Valeta, the Pride of Erin, the Canadian Three Step, the Barn Dance of course and similar set piece dances. On demand there was also the Jazz Waltz and some other more modern type South American dances. I was a whizz at the Gay Gordons as I could spin around really fast. Once a month I went to a Rock and Roll dance held by a local teen club. I helped host a dance once a month at my Teen Club. That is lots of work as everything from the hot wash of the floor to the sandwich making and setting out of chairs was done by us teens under supervision.

Our dancing days continued throughout our married life probably monthly until Ray had the 1990 stroke and dancing, particularly waltzing caused vertigo. We tried a few times but it no longer worked, it was no longer fun, so it was one of the many things we had to give up. And there were a lot of things we had to give up over those many years, especially after the two major strokes in 1999 so dancing became a thing of the past, just part of those memories of long ago. I have recorded elsewhere the way Shirley and I managed to make it appear that Ray danced the Bridal Waltz at her wedding but that is a story from another time.

Then I went to the first WAGS Women's Weekend. “Get up” said one of my hew friends and dragged me onto the dance floor where we wiggled and giggles and spurred each other on to Abba and BoneyM and yes even Kylie Minogue. So began my three dances a year, two at the Women's Weekend and one at the Christmas Party a month later. A large group of women dancing together is an unusual sight but it is also a happy sight, particularly as at the Women's Weekends both Caregivers and Survivors are together on the floor, holding hands, sometimes dancing in a line or just singly. It is a feat in itself that we can achieve the harmony we do. Oh the joys of moving to the music, the happiness of being hot and sweaty, sides aching and dropping back at the table to drink one more glass of water.

At the Christmas party though the reproachful glances of Ray from the table at the perimeter of the dance floor at first looked like anger and when I returned to sit next to him he always asked to go home early as he had a headache or was tired. As it was a daytime party this might only be two o'clock in the afternoon so I would say: "After the next dance maybe" and hoped the dementia would allow him to forget. There was a solution to that too and soon someone would come and sit with him and he would be engaged in conversation and all was well.

Forward to this year and I decided I needed to join in life and try and get out and about more on my own and make some changed. What to cling to, what to give up, what to give away? They were the new questions in my life. Give up Strokenet? No because I love it here and think I can still use my past experiences and be useful. Give up the Dementia Groups? Yes, because that was always more about Mum than about Ray. Give up WAGS... er, umm, well maybe back away a bit, not go to the meetings every month but keep in touch with all those wonderful women who had become friends and I could do that on Facebook and through a few personal calls.

Mid October I realised I wasn't very fit, I thought of joining a gym but that is a pretty pricey option and I was not sure I wanted to go into lycra and sweat in front of a roomful of people. So I looked around to see what I could do and remembered I had the Wii set up for the grandchildren and had Just Dance 2 and so I have been dancing an hour a day to Just Dance2 on the Wii at home and I must say my skills and stamina have improved out of sight. So I bought Just Dance3 as a bit of variety and now someone told me there is a Zumba version so I might look at that too.

This time last year I said I would not be going to another WAGS Women's Weekend. The pressure started so I gave in and said I would go to the dinner on Saturday night and stay for the dancing. I had to do the sermons on Sunday at church so that seemed reasonable. Then the phone calls started, why are you not coming, please come, we want you to come. So I said okay I will come all day Saturday. Then one person asked why I was giving up the things I liked to do? It is a fair question. Why would I give up the things I LOVED to do? So I said okay I would sleep over Friday night as well.

On Thursday our locum (temporary minister) rang to tell me she had muddled up the dates and had the Synodsmen speaking on Sunday and could I do the preaching on the next Sunday instead? So the guilt of going away went away (it should never have been there anyway) and I was cleared to have a WAGS Women's Wonderful Weekend as usual. What a blessing it was for me. I did decide to come home after the dance on Saturday though as I didn't want to engage again in the tearful goodbyes on Sunday morning.

I won't describe it all in minute details but we laughed, cried and shouted with that manic laughter that is so close to hysterics. We talked in groups around the pool and one-on-one in the corners of the room. I heard the stories of the ladies who have joined through the year and who I didn't know well and regained the confidences of those I have travelled with on my journey too. It is wonderful, unbelievably happy and yet can be sad too and so releasing and I love it now as I always have but for different reasons to when I was a hands-on, full time caregiver.

I could not believe it on Saturday night when we had the first WAGSTER Awards and I got a plastic statuette and was the inaugural recipient of the Dancing Diva Award. I must say there was a lot of laughing at my discomfort and not sure of those pictures of my astonished face, hope they don't turn up on Facebook. I am sixty seven and have my FIRST dance award! Well isn't that an amazing thing? And to be surrounded by such love and laughter is an amazing thing too.

My friend was right, you should never give up the things you really love to do. They may have to be put on the back burner for a while but one day they will be available to you once more. Thank you to the Wonderful Women of WAGS and the wonderful women and men on this site for all you are to me.