Ann,

You do not sound like a spoiled brat. Caregiving is not for sissies, remember? It's full of these kinds of stress and weight gain is certainly another by-product of the job. I can personally attest to that. We are all under stress of one kind or another in our attempts to be the best caregivers we can be. Vent and have as many temtrums here as you like. I'm sure there are many caregivers who can identify and give you cyber hugs.

:friends:

Jean

Hi Ann,

I wanted to share something about the extra weight concern - and my related experience. When I have some extra pounds that I need to take off and have found when I'm at that point, I feel really icky about myself -- and it has the opportunity to seep out and affect my relationships with my family (especially my husband). My husband no longer address my extra weight through an appearance issue but as his genuine concern for my health. That helped us tremendously. Another avenue that works for me is weight watchers. I'm an avid fan. The program requires a lot of accountability to your friends/members. It's a pretty sad life that I will let myself down, but not my friends...... If you are feeling better about yourself - some of the other issues may be easier to cope with. (p.s. - I have a sister in law who carries some extra weight - maybe as much as 20 lbs or so. She exercises faithfully every day. What is so interesting is even though she is carry extra weight, she is incredibly healthy. Her BP is perfect, her glucose is perfect, her heart rate is great, her blood work is great... she really is a testimony to what exercise can do for people.... course I've not followed her lead.) Take care Ann. -Karen

Ann, your Bill and my Ray are both "nurse pleasers" so will say yes to all the questions. It is okay, the therapists can TELL if Ray has been working so I don't have to tell them Ray isn't doing the work.

I have an ambivalent feeling myself most of the time. Should I stay and put up with the work, stress etc or go and have to live with the consequences of that decision? Some people see this as a acceptance issue, but I don't think it is, it is more a choice issue to me. Making it a choice gives me the feeling of freedom in the situation.

So today I choose to stay and I might make the same decision tomorrow....if he is lucky.

Sue.

Ann,

Bill is probably pointing out your weight as a defense/diversion to what is going on with him. Kind of like, "OH YA! You want me to work harder on therapy? Well when are YOU gonna work on losing weight?" (That is a bit extreme of an example, but it was the easiest way to get my point across)

I am sorry to hear that things are rough right now. Kind of feels like you are treading water, right?

Hang in there, you will get through it. Better days are on the horizon.

Kristen