Thank you for sharing another profound thought provoking discussion topic idea!!

I appreciate your perspective and respect that you have been on this journey for a while now and that you do indeed know pain and suffering 101.  I love your blogs!  I love how you share how you came to get here in a place of acceptance and rest (most of the time you seem to harness serenity).

I know I am not new to pain and suffering but this one kind takes the cake. I never knew what physical pain could be like before. I never thought I could be in such emotional pain over surviving near death. Shouldn't I be happy and grateful now?  I seem to be once in a while but then I get to realize that I am buried alive sort of and I get to watch the rest of me and my life die or it has died already.  I am trying to grab onto the new world and my new identity and she is ok most of the time.  My inner child is still wailing and screaming in a huge tantrum though. I think I see things being thrown even!  Terrible tantrum!!  Then the shocked sulk. I look in disbelief at the rubble of my life.  I wonder if I can make it a mosaic someday. I just hope to have the strength to sweep up and sit quietly.  I want inner peace but each time I think I got it then it slips away like a greased pig.  I try any meditation prayer resource to put my mind at  ease and in motion towards action to a new life. 

Viktor Frankl  Man's Search For Meaning  this book changed me by reading it. I never realized how powerful meaning making truly is. I new it was important. Look at all the photos all around here.  But attaching meaning to good is easy. Now is the hard part of wondering what to do with this rubble mess.  Who will I be and what will my life be now?  Didn't I already figure this all out? I feel like someone came along and kicked over my blocks!!  Well all I can do is rebuild but this is harder this time or is really easier because I am not the child really am I?  I must have some experiences that will help me draw up some good plans yet all rules changed in a way.  I was told acceptance is the way out but for me I need action to not accept and get on with something in spite of.  So I guess if I had to answer what is meaning for me just for today I would say that I am here still for my loved ones and that is enough to know we will share time and space later sharing a meal and company. The big picture isn' t clear yet and maybe I will only find it by following my whims from moment to moment.  I have held onto lofty goals so they inspire me to keep on  truckin even if I don't get there as many seem to want to reign me into reality (their reality) but I know I need to keep slaying big dragons to go on.  I think there is meaning in meaning and it is all around us.  I don't believe it is all meaningless. I challenge those thoughts daily and it is kinda fun meaning making nowadays blogging and photos and even some doodles and getting out there outside of my self and my house and sharing some reality with another.

Pam :

I appreciate your heartfelt comment. I know I myself struggled to find meaning to my suffering. Once I realize I am here for my loved ones & who chose to be my side in this life's journey. I made decision to be happy & not drag them down  with my neativity. I feel they deserve that. I guess I choose to be happy & surround myself with positive people. I do sometimes wish higher power will come down & tell me you are on right path to relax a little bit in raising our son, but I have realised  all I can do is do my best for that moment & don't worry about rest.

Asha

Asha, I've never known about the Super Soul Sunday from Ophra.   It certainly sounds inspirational, thanks for sharing it.   I think if we really knew all the heavy hearts that hide inside people, we would hear each one with it's own hidden despair saying, why me?  

Sassy, I'll have to look into that book.