For a month or so I have been living by myself. I am alone at home with just myself and my animals and I love it. Well there is the exception that my home has some ceiling leaks but that's another long story. I don't have anyone living with me anymore because I can now take care of myself after having two strokes. Nope I am alone now because I am not helping someone else. One of my biggest stress factors was having someone live with me and her three kids for almost four years. I only did it because a mutual friend asked me to let her stay with me. Plus this was the second time she has lived with me. But now never again. Th drama with her living with me was a lot. There were many fights, things stolen from me and just plain craziness. But now I am home alone. One of my good friends was staying with me but she is with her mom an helping her out. I am in no rush in her returning back. Her things are still in my home, but I do enjoy coming home to silence and not going to my room and staying in there like a bear in hibernation. Before any of them moved in I was in a six year relationship with someone and we lived with each other most of the time. Never again. For my next relationship I need to be the "bum". I am not looking for anyone to take care of me, but it would be nice knowing that this person has the means to do so.

My work life is another big stress on my life. The past two months have been crazy. Two people in my department quit on me. It had nothing to do with me thankfully! But it was very hard doing their jobs and mine as well. Seems like I can't get away from my old position. I was promoted two years ago yet, I am doing the same job now. When one of the ladies left, they decided to make her job part time. I was upset, but OK I will work with that. But it took forever for them to put an add out for the position. Thankfully the other staff member had not left yet. She wanted to leave to. In fact they both gave resignation letters at the same time. However, my wonderful job enforced their non compete clause so she had to stay. After that fiasco I knew she wouldn't be here much longer. I felt responsible that she was "forced" to stay, but a little bit later she left to care for her father and finish school. So maybe that was a good way of her not having the new job because she would have been forced to leave to care for her dad. About a month ago we hired one person to replace one of the two position's. She seemed to be so good, nice, but now the honeymoon is over. I don't think it ever started actually. At this short period of time I think she wants to take my position. I am good at what I do. I don't gloat and say I am the greatest, but it would take a lot to fill my shoes. Maybe because she is older than me she feels she should be my manager. But I am the one who had two strokes and have to remember everything for her and myself. I slur my words when I get tired, I freeze and have pain in my right cheek but I smile and try to help out as much as possible. Yet, she says I make her feel like she can't do anything right. So next week I will talk with her again and hope this time she will pay attention. Hopefully by then the position for the full time person will be filled in case she quits too!

Outside of work is my simple, kind of boring life. :I-Thank-You: I am happy it's summer time and the weather is warmer. I hate freezing! :cold: I look forward to maybe try and go on a date. So far I have doing things with my friends parents. It's fun, but maybe going out with an adult my age would be nice. My "kid" is out of school so I look forward to spending more time with him. I just hate the drama I had to go through with getting him to school. For instance I get a call ten minutes before I pick him up to say he's not going to school since today is the last day. He got everything yesterday. I am like wow, I could have been told that yesterday. The time I should be at work is the time I drop him off to school. I should be able to get him at 8:30am, drop him off at school, fight traffic and go to work. Nope usually I have to wait for him to get ready, and come downstairs because the adults haven't gotten him up. It's one thing if I am running late, but that was hardly the case. I just glad that's over for now and hope next school year is better. I only wish he would be able to go to a summer camp, but I get shot down when I bring that subject up. It's hard being a parent to a child you didn't give birth to when the birth parent picks and chooses how you should be in his life. That story of my life is another reason I was stressed and helped to cause a stroke.

All in all I am taking one day at a time. I mean I have choice but to. I am just happy to be alive. I am a little lonely and could use some good adult company to talk, go out, whatever. Just as along as they don't try to live with me after we go out. :nuhuh: