I have been busy working and going to the gym. Working is stressful but I do enjoy getting a check every two weeks. I've always had direct deposit in the past but it's something about getting my check handed to me that reminds me to hang in there and not quit my job. I have also been trying to workout.

I have gained too much weight. I have never weighed this much in my life. At first I thought I was just getting my appetite back, then I thought it was anxiety because I only ate a lot when I was home alone, but then I realized it was my meds and my doctor pretty much confirmed that for me. He said the bi polar meds can make people gain weight. At first I didn't mind putting on a good 10 pounds since my family was saying I looked anorexic before, but after I gained 15 more pounds in a month, I got worried so I tried to be aware of what I was eating. That is when I realized I was binge eating. I gained 15 more pounds since last month which makes a total of 35 pounds since May.

I am afraid. I've never weighed this much and Im afraid Im going to keep gaining weight since I can't do regular exercise because of my left side weakness. I try to watch what I eat but I end up overeating anyway whether I've been starving myself or eating all day. I keep trying diets but I always mess up. I got a membership at the YMCA but I only burn a few hundred calories according to the exercise machines I use in comparison to all the calories I eat before and after I work out.

Im just afraid I am going to end up obese since I cant seem to control my appetite and cant work out like I want to. It is depressing being over weight but I know I would be even more depressed if I stopped the medication that's making me gain weight and I don't want to keep witching medications and messing up my mood even more.