Today is just a fog. Once again, the aide that I was promised from the agency - never showed - should I have thought different?????? No phone calls - nothing!!! I called my husband's case manager because I have had enough. According to the rules of his waiver he gets 40 plus hours of nursing care a week. On 6/27/05, hubby will be home 1 month and I have had 6 days of help!!!!!!! Somehow this doesn't calculate to me.

I often wonder if I should do this myself - instead of putting up with the frustration. So far Chris always sleeps in the afternoon for at least 4-5 hours but what if that changes. I at least need the afternoon to work on my business. Maybe I need to stop letting my anger about this situation get to me and keep pushing with his case manager to get someone who can handle him and give me the time I need to work. My exhaustion is getting to my brain - I can't even think straight.

Today was really strange - Chris barely could stay awake to eat breakfast, I got him cleaned up and then he fell back to sleep around 11am and slept till I woke him up at 5:45pm. He had a really hard time eating dinner and after dinner he fell asleep again in his wheelchair, he partially slept thru his exercises and was in bed by 10pm. This evening he seemed very confused. I'm hoping tonight he will sleep thru the night - at this point it has been 4 nights with only 3-4 hours sleep for me. I'm really starting to feel it. I noticed that my patience is wearing very thin.

Thank God tommorrow is Friday. But on the other hand that means that its time for the house to be cleaned - I don't know when I'll find the time to do this. I think it's time for me to go to bed because I'm cranky and only just rambling.