I got up,dressed,breakfasted,and then transportation arrived to take me to the dermatologist. I had my pain pill tucked in my Betsy Bag. All I needed were morning meds to send me off. Psychonursie was there to provide them along with a glare and repeating the question why did I need to carry a pill was I going to be gone 4 hours. Her face was livid. I actually did return late,after pill time, and I had to deal with Bossynursie who demanded to know why my doc had ordered new meds,why change or add,what for? I gave the paperwork and asked her to give it to the doc here so he can order it here. Bossy said no,she was going to supervisor because I had enough. Wow. I said my dermatologist specialist from top med center wants to do this, and who the h÷!! are you? She left in a huff and supervisor came in while I was talking to the facility doctor, whom I had paged. In the end, my derm's meds and instructions were ordered for me just like it said on the paperwork. But I grow weary of the constant battle. I use special shampoo and a new little bottle came in,but she wanted the old bottle given to her to discard. It was not expired. I said no firmly and asked if she wanted to discuss not wasting it with the supervisor too. She left in a huff. I had not been given a med when I returned, in time for it,but psychonurse did not give it to me,recorded it as not taken, even tho I saw her so I reported that to supervisor and the doc had to be called again because I needed that gabapentin. Bossy had said no too late. But doc said give it.

I am being ďriven to edge,but today I met with daughter, drove by the coast with the window down, bought slipper shoes, nail polish and some snacks. It was a lovely feeling to be AWOL. It was like christmas to buy a few belongings of my own. The breakout was wonderful. And a glimpse of the past. I agonize over what was lost, and Yet I can find joy in now and hope for future.Little happy minutes. When I feel the outside living going on.