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Ray is coming along but still in rehab for now


1967stingray

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I'm glad to say Ray is very noticeably improved over the last couple of weeks of treatment. He is getting therapy six days a week and I am told he is finally walking for the therapists, after a year and a half of nothing. It would be SO great if he could get upstairs again when he comes home, then he could have real showers and not have to hear me at dawn bustling around the kitchen while he sleeps a few feet away in the den. I didn't dare dream of anything this positive a few months ago.

 

They have the most gorgeous patio courtyard at the place, birdhouses filled with all kinds of birds, gorgeous landscaping and big glass tables to sit at. We have made a few friends out there, including a few dogs, and the weather has been more than cooperative so far. It's just so much easier to have a real conversation out there; and as a bonus, it's right under a path that the big jets heading into Kennedy and LaGuardia fly, just high enough that you don't hear them. Ray is fascinated to watch them, one every four or five minutes. A few of the other patients are also into gazing upwards at them, one woman even claims to know what model each is and what runway they are heading for. A great conversation starter!

 

Meanwhile I have been getting social invitations galore, to go out to dinner at all the latest restaurants, to go out to the movies (something I haven't done in at least 20 or 25 years), plus invitations to upscale fundraising types of events (just as a spectator, of course!). I'm also going into the city next week for Mom's birthday, brother John will be up from Georgia and he and my upstate sisters are all taking the train down, plus sister Julie, who will also be in from California, is coming home with me afterwards to spend a few days on Long Island, before flying back home. We're having lunch in Tribeca at a restaurant whose chef is an old high school friend of ours and now is on the Food Channel. My biggest fear is that the home will suddenly discharge Ray out of nowhere before then! This will be an event that will go down in family history. I also had the group of people that have been taking me out so much over for an Oktoberfest/Sauerbraten dinner the other day, mostly to prove to myself I still have my cooking chops. Might not need it so much after he comes home, which will be with the feeding tube still at this point, but anyway good to know I can entertain if need be ;-)

 

At an art council event the other night, I met a woman who it seemed was sent to me from above. Right away, we somehow started talking about caregiving, and it turned out her husband had very bad emphasyma and she too had to quit her career to take care of him for several years. He is gone now so she gave me a few insights into how things will probably go down. The final thing she said to me was, it doesn't matter what you do or how hard you try, the result will be the same, so stop worrying so much about it. Comforting, even if in a strange way. It is so odd to feel as relaxed as I do right now, I have spent the entire year being a hypochondriac and getting tested for tons of stuff...but turns out it's all in my mind pretty much. Hard to believe all the energy and time I wasted lately on nothing, without seeing the big picture. So glad I've had this time to get my thoughts together finally.

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Colleen, good things can come out of what seems a bad situation.  I am glad you have had this slow down time, you were getting really stressed before this happened. Like you i found that having Ray in hospital did allow me to sleep sounder, do more "me" stuff and maybe my mind relaxed enough to take in new information.  Just be prepared for the homecoming, it is a really hard time for the first couple of weeks until you establish a routine again.

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Thanks Sue, yeah I can sort of sense that.  I will be entitled to full time (30 to 40 hours week?) help when he does get home I believe, and it might even be Marie Sonia, the last aide he had.  She doesn't speak much English but she was a hard worker and very motherly with Ray.  Guess I'll cross that bridge when I get to it.  At least I'll have my memories  ;-)

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Colleen,

 

I didn't read all your blog my attention span is no longer active, I'm really gone down hill and just do not know how much longer I got here as a stroke survivor with nearly 12 years already done....

 

So I just want to say see if you can get the VA to put in a stair lift chair like they did for me a few years ago.... That way Ray can get up/down stairs then use his cane for his walking once he is on the floor up or down stairs....

 

It didn't cost me anything and other companies carry them too but I don't know prices.... It's worth the call to see if you can get one for Ray to use...

 

Lately I got problems walking but I can still drive any where I need to go including taking my grand daughter to school when my wife has to be at work early with no time to drop her off at school.....

 

I just wanted you to be aware of a stair lift being available for us folks that can no longer climb the stairs or go down the stairs and I'm now 74 years old....  The VA gave me a hospital bed and my scooter plus the lift in my Ford Explorer to load/unload it every time....

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Thanks for thinking of us Fred!  A veteran in our town did get a free lift not long ago but apparently it is not a common thing.  Made the front page news.  They cost at least $5,000 to buy, so that's not happening.  I was always happy for Ray to walk up and down the stairs himself, especially since sometimes it was the only exercise he had all day.  But when he is released, I am sure there will be social workers and dialogue....I am already counting on a hospital bed, no matter where in the house it ends up.  Maybe we will be the next lucky winners of a lift too!  We'd be off to a good start.

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Thanks for the update Colleen.  I'm glad Ray is doing well in his recovery.  I enjoyed eating lunch at Larry's facility as the food was surprisingly good.  We had a friend who was also there at the time with a broken hip and I was able to visit and eat lunch with her.  The problem with that facility, although very nice surroundings,  was the nursing staff changeovers and quality of the CNA help.

 

I think Medicare will pay for a stair lift if you qualify, and maybe his rehab doctor's could help with that.  It sure would be helpful to you both.  

 

Larry had his hospital bed delivered last February.  We did not have our driveway cleared from snow yet but they plowed through and got it in!  The mattress that came with it was terrible as it was issued by Medicare.  I found out I could get a firmer one later on.  

 

Hope you get a very good home therapy team when Ray is discharged.  I had an excellent dietician and PT who were part of the team.

 

Best to you and Ray,

 

Julie

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Thanks for the info Julie, maybe I can even get one of those foam toppers if the bed is too uncomfortable?  Still not sure when Ray will be discharged but I have lots planned myself in the next two weeks, with family flying in from out of town; lots of deep cleaning the house for that and of course getting the yard in shape for the winter.  Hard to do those kind of things normally with all the distractions I usually have!  They haven't mentioned discharge yet, but he refused therapy yesterday;  which I forget every single year, his Seasonal Affective Disorder is definitely kicking in with the time change.  Just to add insult to injury!  I have a LONG list of excuses prepared if they bring it up in the very near future. After Nov 16 I will be ready, at least as much an anyone could be. But  think technically he could be in til years end too, so who knows. He is getting such good care there, I don't feel any pressure to rush him home just yet.

 

I had looked up Medicare devices and it said the only lifts they covered were Hoyer lifts, and chairs that lift you out of them.  Here's hoping the staff can get him walking strong enough that I can get him up the stairs by his own locomotion, with my help of course.  So much up in the air still, for all I know he won't be home until the end of the year.  But the staff at this place is phenomenal so at least I have that going for me.

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