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I am going to be a grandmother



I saw the ultrasound showing my child's child. I love.


Life is now. Surviving is not an interruption. It is a destination saying you have arrived here. I see the interruption is between life and death,not my Old life or Me and when will I recover as good as new.


I lost everything as a result of my stroke. Every Thing in my life. Then. But not my future,as far as I am allowed to go.


I am grateful.


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congratulations Pam. life is journey with period of good & bad time. we just have to hang in till tide changes. I believe in something better is going to come out of this dark period I just can't seem to find it right now, but God has been always kind to me has shown me through out my journey everything happens in your life for your good only, its just that with my limited knowledge not able to see best is yet to come



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Pam, I love the way you state this. It has made me tear up - in a good way. Congratulations on becoming a grandmother! Our one grandson is 3 1/2 and another due this summer, and that will be all we are to have. We waited a long time to be grandparents and this little guy is a bright light in our lives. Enjoy the journey. It is one of the best.

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Congratulation babies do change the way you look at your life.  You sill have so much to give to the next generation.I am sure this baby will be a blessing in your life.  (((Hugs))) from one grandmother to another.

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On other side,tears. Not what I thought it would be. Me in pain drugs.

I saw me as involved,buying a van, doing stuff going places.

Will I be grandma in that smelly place, cannot carry baby around,no driving,short visits no sleep overs camping under dining table where my kids were. In my memory it seems I can go home,but it is gone. So I cannot imagine a future. But somewhere in it I will be in it. Love. It is all I have left to give.so little time.

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Congratulations Grandma and welcome to the club.My grandson is five now. I can't do everything with him that I once dreamed of doing but if I am honest, life really wasn't perfect before. When he was four he asked me one day why I didnT use two hands to pick something up. I told him I only had one hand. He laughed at me and sid "No grandma you have two hands". I admitted that was true but explained further that I could only use one hand. he placed his little hand on top of my paralyzed hand and said "I'm sorry" and then reached up and kissed me. I realized then that my grandson was going to grow up to be a compassionate person because his grandma was disabled and it made me smile and swell with pride more than any walk on the beach or trip to Disneyland.

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Thank you so much Pearls for your post,amazing posts. Yes,nothing was ever ideal pre stroke but sometimes I put on my rose tint shades and everything missed was Positively Stepford. Oh well. Why do I keep those shades around.


Pearls,your grandson is indeed compassionate with that said,I want to thank you for the times I felt your compassionate hand reaching out to me. Yes,I agree that your grandson is learning valuable things from you,you are important in his life,he benefits,he is loved,he loves you. You are amazing so he is too.


I know but I want what I want even if it is painfully pointless.


But I am so glad there is another way,another perspective to be my worldview. And so glad to have my club to help me. To give me hugs galore as I deal with becoming something else that has no manual.

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I really really like this:


I lost everything as a result of my stroke. Every Thing in my life. Then. But not my future,as far as I am allowed to go.

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