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Passing By The Two Year Marker



I ran into my former physical therapist from a year or so ago.She commented on progress she saw,and I told her she was an important person in my life of recovery because she talked about things I was experiencing, believed me,assured me I was not crazy. She encouraged me to walk. I confided in her about my experiences in the nursing home. I told her I now had a patio so I could see the sun and a roommate who did not have the problems the other one did. She noticed I smiled and enjoyed the moment. I explained how she had helped and that she holds a meaningful place in my life,in my recovery. I was happy she saw improvements she said small but a good sign no guarantees but going in the right direction. She listened to me talk about radiotherapy ablation.No she never worked with a participant in that. So I am New. As we talked I felt overcome with melancholy that my time in session will conclude shortly. Not that I am cured, as good as can be,Or not making progress. The final statement from therapist is insurance will not pay forever. Time for home study now. Then maybe later if there is another kind Of need. I have plateaued or did I get a number of sessions and reached a cut off limit? Endings. Fadings. I resist on many levels. I just finally trust and progress. I met many goals.made more.longed for more. I made Routine. I was welcomed and belonged in session. I enjoyed preparations, journeys, recoveries. The rooms, the cafe, Friendship. The applause, fade to black. ACTI done.


You can practice at home. You can at least walk but do not forget too unstable for cane. Ok but am I as good as it gets? Do your homework. But I want gym time. Go find a place to do the exercises. Ok.

I will. Ok. I will track my walking with my fitbit. Seek motivation.


And so went the conversations with my past and present physical therapists, after 9 months of therapy once a week.


I wonder how I will do on my own. I will miss my outings which have become my life.


I feel no great thing here at year 2. It goes on much like before. No miracle. Just slow hard work. I wanted so much more but expected no less. I thought I would have progressed in accomplishment but it has only all been pain management and walking. Yet those are all that matter. And life offers more than I can Suspect. When pain free is highest goal in my life and greatest joy From which all is possible.


I will try not to feel abandoned but feel supportively ready to go.? I will listen to what others say and Hope.and Rest. And watch as my heart's desires Accept contented.


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Pam :


I know how abandoned you feel when all therapies ends but trust me its not end its beginning of new normal  its

 your second shot at life.  after death of prestroke Pam its time to create better & improved version of new pam.  post stroke life is all what you make out of. happiness is a choice  so choose wisely & enjoy life.



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damn I agree with Asha,

I do understand the feeling of Abandonment but you need to change that to a sense of accomplishment.

it is incredibly fulfilling to see people that you haven't seen in a long time and have them recognize the progress that you've made.

I'm working on a poem for Futura publication and newsletter called my post-stroke life there have been challenges and roadblocks of course but I want all have learned to recognize just talk blessed I really am one of my major blessing is the friends that I've developed including you I love to hear what's going on with you you must remember you are never alone we wouldn't we will never abandon you.

we are all comrades in arms we must stand together and fight the good fight for each other.

one of my saddest days in my post drug life was when I had to say goodbye to my therapist especially those that I worked with in patients and once in Colorado and ones in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan I never did get the opportunity to thank them for as hard as they pushed me I know I didn't appreciate it at the time but seeing how well I'm doing I'd love to be able to say thank you now



stay strong be positive and remind yourself just so blessed we all are to have survived a stroke in the second chance .

at life that we've been given


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It is sad when rehabilitate programs end, I remember that from Ray's sessions, how much progress he made and then how as soon as the sessions were over he gave up.  Please, please, please do not give up.  Do what you can alone, please.

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Hey Pam, 


You will make it you know how to exercise a bit on your own as I have to do these days since I only have one hour with my therapy home care person 5 days a week.... One exercise I do daily is raising my cane above my head as best I can and down to my knees several times then I use my exercise bike with my scooter next to me in case I get too tired..... Then I walk from my front door to my back door , a good 30 feet or more, twice to exercise my paralyzed left side.....


We will be OK, just don't ever give up.... In my case "Thank God" I can still drive my SUV which is in the garage so I can drive around to the big stores by my lottery tickets and back home on my own and I can walk in using my cane.... I tell myself I will be OK just never give up since I'm still alive,,,,,


All the best to you my friend!!!!

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try and make it to the rehab gym five days a week except for rainy days much as today when I feel lousy.  overall have to keep a good attitude

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 Hey Pam, understand, my dear, just keep thinking postive.  When I was teaching Kindergarden, I tell them" never say I can't, just I can or I will try". That be came my motto.  When I started walking with my cane, a snail was faster then me, and I walk less than 10 feet, and was so tired. My father at 82years old, and came in from England, told me as least that is a start, and he has had two strokes. 


Like Fred said, never give up, we have hope. That is my buzz word of the year, and with life is hope!.


Take care Pam, love, hope, and hugs



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Pam you are improving maybe not very fast but you are improving. Try to exercise were ever you can, if you are at home put some music on and keep active.

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I didn't think of that Pam, you can take up wheelchair dancing, even one handed that should be okay.  Imagine a hula and get your body to move at least a little in response to the music, circle the wheelchair using your good hand, shake your head to the music, move your shoulders etc. At our Christmas party for the Stroke Recovery group a lot of the wheelies dance in this way. It is good exercise and makes you feel happy.

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You come a long way baby so strap on that fitbit and start your own progress report.  I track my steps everyday and set a goal for each week  The weather is fine so get out in the sunshine and shake your groove thing to your own beat.

Take care and let us all know how you are doing


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Gosh, Thank You All!! For the responses,hope,encouragement,love that I can feel through your words and thoughts. Your ideas make a difference.I am fortunate to have you to love back. We can all be assured that we will be Ok right where we are at, with a little help from our friends. Thank you for the great gift of healing I recieved this morning from reading your responses. God bless you.

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Pam, you can rest assured you are not on this stroke site alone there is always someone to talk with on the computer.....

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Hey Pam, that step out of therapy is scary and feels so daunting.  But so long as you have a plan and execute at least one item from the plan each day you're in front.  You can and will do this. Just remember some days will be harder than others and don't beat yourself up if you have a bad day, just pick yourself up and start again.  And remember we are all here cheering you on good day or bad day.


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My husband had his 4th year stroke anniversary this year, so we are working toward year 5.   This year he is doing something a little different.    He can only do a few steps, but here and there, he is moving on his own.   He has enough confidence in his slow steps that he is not afraid of walking a very short distance without asking me to spot him.... not every time, but as the mood hits and he feels stable enough to do it on his own.    I believe he would do more if he would exercise the tiniest bit on his own.    But he has no push to self start, none at all.    Even so, he is doing a little more for himself.    He was on the screened in porch Tuesday, when I went to Walmart, and when I got home,  he said I had left the dog  out, and he got up from his chair and let her back in.   It was only a few steps away, but he had to get up by himself, take those few steps and then step back to his chair and sit down by himself.   So this is new things he is doing after all this time.

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