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2nd hand memories



I’m getting better at living my life in the now and not be so distracted by the limitations of my stroke. Living on my own and not sharing my life with anyone is also opening my inner self and not be so afraid of life outside of marriage. And to be honest….it’s pretty awesome. Yeah the money is tight and learning to live without having a job that gives me a paycheck is pretty difficult to swallow sometimes but I begin to think of the other survivors and I’m thankful. Thankful to have my own place and had the ability to pay for it… yes granted I had to have a stroke and live. I talk about the same things and that sometimes bothers some however I tell them when I say it, it’s as I’m telling it for the first time no matter how many times I’ve explained it. This is something I can’t help and often causes arguments with my children. “I know mom…. You’ve told me this already like 20 times” It’s like a kick in the gut for I can’t remember the first time telling them. Memory is a fickle for I can remember things that happened 30+ years ago but not personally have experienced it. The “me” now isn’t the Kelli from 30+ years ago. It’s pretty neat I explained it that way for it was an eye opening experience for me just now. I’ve had no memories but looking through old me, I’m able to see how somethings were despite having no emotional connection . I finally have a way to understand it myself. YAY..

Funny how the brain works for I always said I can see it through my sisters eyes when in fact they were mine from another time.


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I am please for you, keill. It is funny how having a visit from Mr.Stroke, can change our life, and it is for  the good  of us. I am like you with telling my children things, and they remark " You told us this Mom". of course I can not remember, and would like  them to listen anyway.


 Life is great, and we are here! Yes!.  God is good!


Learn, enjoy, and be happy, with your new life experiences.



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You are one courageous lady. I admire you. I often wonder if I could go it alone. Sometimes you find your own strength when you are by yourself. You make me smile. Thank you.

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Kelli :


I have no memory issue but I hear from my son all the time u already told me this & sometimes I do repeat things to him to get him to do certain things by annoying hm. but do I care no. anything I am doing for him are done with good intentions behind it so I don't mind getting insulted by him million times. I just let it roll.  I am so glad u r realizing living in the moment such a great gift & harder to do, so enjoy every day to fullest.



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I get that reaction from time to time. The stranger one is when they tell me about something I did during one of my empty periods.Those periods are completely void to me so I get second hand memories. Having memory problems will make you realize how vulnerable we can be if we hadn't surrounded ourselves with trustworthy people. And I want to say thanks for all you do to help all of us in this community.

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I just came across a quote I like in a book I'm currently reading: "A happy man has no past, while an unhappy man has nothing else." The Narrow Road to the Deep North by Richard Flanagan.

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I just came across a quote I like in a book I'm currently reading: "A happy man has no past, while an unhappy man has nothing else." The Narrow Road to the Deep North by Richard Flanagan.

such a great quote. thanks I needed that

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Kelli, You know what you said is so true as I been through 3 divorces but have now been married since 1998 to my fourth wife and the best I ever had in my life with an understanding of life and especially my life after a stroke...... So 18 years now I been in my happiest life to feel whole again so that means so much to any person that been through a divorce and a stroke....


All the best to you now as I have no past because I am a happy man.....

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