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losing children ....


ksmith

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This is probably one of the most difficult things I’ve blogged about. As I blogged the other day, my family got together for a family reunion as well as a memorial service for my grandparents whom passed away, each separately but joined together once again.

I flew my oldest son up from Florida for a fast weekend visit for he was extremely close with my grandparents as well. Seeing him again was great and trying to remember he was twenty-two was a challenge especially when he would have a beer or go out at night until early AM. That wasn’t the only difficult feat I had to complete, trying to understand this tall person in front of me was my son. It made my heart hurt knowing this person relied on me to make things better for him, sit with him while he was sick, first steps, first words …nothing. My youngest son is very much in my memory, only at age 13 which is now because my ex-husband and I share joint custody and I see him often. I’m trying to remember a lot of people but it seems to be the old saying; ‘Out of sight, out of mind’. It’s terrible for man of those who I love dearly... poof. I know my ex-husbands family, I’d knew for over 15 years and some I can’t place how or even remember the simplest of detail. I adore my ex-father-in-law and have a hard time keeping those many years from fading away.

 

My son is already 22 almost 23 and I’m getting introduced to a man who lives in Florida and visits when he can. My heart breaks

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Kelli, it must be really hard for you to try and adjust to not remembering so many important milestones in your older son's life.  I hope he has the insight to know that you need some gentle reminders each time you meet that will help you to remember and connect with  him.

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Hi keili, my heart breaks for you, as you can not remember, and you can not go back. As your Son gets older he will be more understanding, I know this , my Son is 22years old, yes they are very selfish, but has they get older, they get mature, and start realishing that there are others sharing this Earth  with other people. LOL. 

 

Enjoy your Son, and  how he has grown into a fine young Man

 

Yvonne

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Hi keili, my heart breaks for you, as you can not remember, and you can not go back. As your Son gets older he will be more understanding, I know this , my Son is 22years old, yes they are very selfish, but has they get older, they get mature, and start realishing that there are others sharing this Earth  with other people. LOL. 

 

Enjoy your Son, and  how he has grown into a fine young Man

 

Yvonne

they can be buttheads can't they lol

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Kelli I can't even imagine how painful this is for you. I don't know if you have but maybe try to put together a "Son Book" Pictures, let other loved ones share things by writing in your book, and I really understand the "all about me age" but maybe when he feels ready he can write memories for you as well. Maybe even do a pen pal thing. As a mom I know all of those memories are so important to us. It may also let him see that your love for him is important to you and that may grow in him as well. Lots of hugs and blessings my friend.

 

Tracy

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