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The Before the Stroke Positive is Not All I Remember...


HostTracy

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Last entry I remembered how active I was and how much I did and was responsible for. Looking back helps me see that I was important. I touched a lot of souls I think and I know they touched mine. So let me back up just a bit. I had a really hard year leading up to my stroke maybe year and a half. I have struggled with bouts of recurrent depression for many years but through therapy I learned to control this pretty good. So when I lost my apartment (yes I was evicted because the rent kept going up and we just couldn't keep up) we moved into a long term hotel like place. It had a very small kitchen (no oven), a table and 2 chairs, a couch area that could also be used for a bed, a tv with remote and even cable, a free internet outlet, a 4 drawer small chest, a small closet, A/C and heat, a shower/bath that always had hot water (as much as we wanted...you could take a shower forever) it basically was a full bathroom. It was comfortable though small like having a tiny house with one room and a bathroom. I was just happy to be inside and not homeless. It was winter. There is one catch...the rent was weekly and the first month was with full taxes. Through the month every 2 weeks the tax would lower until you paid the same thing every week. So when we moved in I was the only working person in the house. My husband was without work and my daughter was not working at the moment. The rent began at 250.00 per week. :freaked: This left me 30-60 dollars each week above that amount after paying for health insurance, car insurance, and storage rental. That was used for food, gas, medicine, laundry detergent (as well as the laundry room fees), hygiene products and anything else we absolutely needed. The first night there I sat the last box of stuff we brought with us and laid on the bed and just cried like I haven't cried in years. I finally got up and ran a really warm bath and soaked...this is the first time I ever noticed my hands, feet, toes, and fingers were turning blue. :wacko: I also had this weird reddish purplish web thing happening on my thighs, knees, and some of my arm. The whole experience freaked me out. I went to work the next morning at 5am and my back was already a mess. I started my accounting procedures for the morning, counted all the tills and rebuilt them. Took them all out to the registers and ran my accounting paperwork. All before the store opens at 6am. By 6am I could hardly walk and found myself in excruciating pain. I had to call another manager to come in and finish my accounting carry forward for the day and I called my husband. We went to the emergency room and found out I had completely inflamed my regenerative disc area and would have to be off work with bed rest for 3 days and full of pain medicine. I went to our little tiny house crawled into bed (more like rolled) took medicine and slept. This means 3 less days on my check and that can't happen. Thankfully I found out I had some personal days and added those to my check. It was during this time that I began to really go into a massive anxiety ridden moment in my life. If you have been so unlucky as to be evicted then you realize pretty quick that no one and I mean NO ONE will rent to you. Even if it was 1/10th of your income. It's called Blacklisted and we were on the most recent list. We were hungry a lot, and wore our clothes a few times rather than once a day (except knickers and things). It was a very hard 3 months. My boss is who changed my life at the 3 month period...

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Thank you for documenting that hard period in your life.  Ray and  i had one when we were first married, too little money too many bills but we just took it a day at a time and in the end came out the other side.  Glad you were able to do the same.

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Tracy :

 

wow that has to be so hard, I am glad you came out of that period. life is full of some good & some bad days. money comes & goes but hard work  & good values always stays.

 

Asha

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Wow Tracy, that is hard. We lost our house, and it hurts. But keep your head up, and beleive that it will get better. We now live in a townhouse, not ours, but in a quiet clean area. Everyone loves it, and ask how we got it. Keep on belevieing, been good to other People, and it will change.  Remember after the storm, comes the rainbow.

 

Yvonne

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