I need things. I talked my way into having my doc prescribe it, the insurance to pay for it yet now just getting it is making me walk on nails. and why do they backorder something across country. But I have a case manager that I beg to handle things because people hear my slower speech and they think i am brain damaged. well I am. but I cry easily. I forget midsentence. I cannot calm down when they treat me disrespectfully. I hang up. I say next time I will be ok.

I am fortunate to get a new walker. It is on backorder. It needs new paperwork.I always run into a hold up. I live patience. I live advocate.

I am not this. this is not me. still.nothing hurts more than to see me like this. except going to a speech therapist who says I speak fine. I say no I was better plus now my voice wobbles. I know what I had.

I have no thing that I loved in my life. I wonder why. it hurts. I am punished. I just want help. Why such hassles.