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First Week With my Daughter at her New Apt.


HostTracy

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It has been a week since my daughter moved out of our house and into her own apartment. I never knew it would be so difficult LOL.

First she was having a lot of anxiety about packing and I helped her but she avoided this right until the last moment. This meant spending a long night up really late packing boxes that could have been done much earlier but we did it. It then meant the next morning we woke early and she went and got her keys and officially signed the lease and actually found out where she was and if it was 1st or 2nd floor. <- This was important because my step dad was coming to help and a lot of stairs would have been really hard not to mention I am a snail going up or down stairs and can't repeat over and over.

After loading up my step dad's truck, my car, and Hailey's boyfriend's car they took the first load to her new apartment. I stayed behind and worked on getting boxes to my livingroom so they could easily get to them. One more trip and we had everything! I went up the steps and by this time I had to just stay there while they unloaded. After this I took my daughter to buy her some groceries and some essentials she would need. We were both exhausted and at one point she just cried a little and said I just want to go home.

We walked into the new apt. and there was her boyfriend unpacking and putting things away! I was so surprised and thankful that he was so considerate and helped her. It was surreal driving back home knowing that my baby was not coming with me.

The first week has been quieter than I can ever remember. After a couple of good days of rest I began to move things into the spare room. We have a little house and al the things I didn't have space for just ended up behind a rocking chair or lining the walls. It was like I had so much more breathing room. I am still working on moving things but the difference has been phenominal. 

I waited a few days before I called her to let her get settled in. We spoke for the first time amicably in a long while. I told my mom it was really nice and now we can make plans and have lunch or do things together occasionally. I miss her though...I really miss her. I do already feel less stressed. It was time and a huge stepping stone in both our lives. I'm proud of her and she has surprised me with important decisions. This helps me feel better about setting her free in this big world. I pray that she soars!

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Tracy :

 

I will pray with you, I bet with your guidance  she will soar in the outside world. I know it feels like we are pushing our kids off the cliff when we are allowing them to fly away  from home & soar in outside world.

 

Asha

 

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You are both phenomenal women.  You achieved separation without  a blowup and as you say can look forward to meeting now just to spend time together without stress.  Congratulations on launching your daughter into her own space.

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Thank you both. I am so proud of her and I bet she remembers many of the things I have told her over the years about the big world. She came over to visit tonight and we didn't argue once! :yay:

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When my son went to college, it seemed like he was home a lot, because of the many breaks between semesters and holidays.    When he graduated from college, and then moved to another state, it was surreal to know he wouldn't be coming home and sleeping in his room anymore.   That part was over.   I'm glad your daughter is still in the same area around you, you can still have quality time together - that's wonderful!

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Empty nest is a real entity that moves in. The sadness is real in the middle of the pride and relief. The childhood time is gone. I often daydreamed my children were my favorite ages and I had to let go of that magical time when they love you unconditionally.

It gets easier. Time gives us new worries. I hope you grow into this new time. I belonged to an empty nest online support group and it helped me.

My prayers with you. We all hold hands and help each other.

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Hi Tracey, so please that you are seeing each other with no arguing. It was time, got to let them  make they own path in life.  My Son is enjoying living on his own, plus he is in another area of Florida, so I can not pop around.  it is hard, but time to let go of  their hand. My daughter just finished college, she went back after having two kids.  Got a good job, so she be leaving soon, i miss the kids, but looking forward  been alone with my husband.

God bless Yvonne

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Yvonne I have really enjoyed spending time with my husband. He and I even get along better by ourselves. So far so good...I've made several changes to the house, had quiet evenings, less to cook and clean, Hailey is really enjoying her new apt. and we are being more cordial to each other. All in all I'd say this is positive. :)

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Change can be tough but it often helps to get out from under each other's feet.  My sister and I fought like cats when we lived under the same roof but once we each had our own lives we got on much better and are now good friends.  We even choose to go on holidays together sometimes.

Also while I love my mother I could not live in the same house as her for very long without us both blowing a fuse.

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Heather I think this may be the case for her and me. I'm so glad that so far immediate positive results have come out of this move it validates that this may be the best decision for us both. I can finally let go and she can finally feel freedom (sorta). It was the right time.

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