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my journey to seeing one



I had my eye surgery that I have been waiting for since my stroke. Realignment of my eyes from double vision and hopefully correcting my nystagmus or bouncing of the eyes, mainly caused by nerve damage from stroke. Eight years of wishing came down an optometrist who referred me to a neurologist at University of Pennsylvania hospital who in turn referred me to a surgeon, also at UPENN, that for the first time gave me a glimmer of hope and a surgery date. You can only imagine how excited I was and impatient for that date to arrive. I was told that the procedure was routine, which I knew, and I could tell a difference immediately after surgery so I was so ready for this.  

 The day finally came and I was ready. My parents and I made the 1hr 30 min drive to the hospital EARLY in the AM, so we were ALL just bowls of flowers and happiness, but with some coffee, we were on our way. I can’t tell you exactly what happened in the hours of being there for my memory causes that day to seem like it was years ago. I’m finally taken back and my parents came back before I was taken away to the operation room. The doctor came over to talk to me and I can’t lie but since he was wearing his mask and me without t glasses, I basically smiled and nodded.  The surgery took roughly 2 hours (give or take). When I came out I know I had an ice pack across my eyes for my father took a picture and posted it to Facebook (I would have done the same thing). I know getting into car after I was able to go home, for this was a same day, I was wheeled out and got into my parent’s car not being able to see. I experienced something I have never had in my life: MOTION SICKNESS.   I started to dry heave while my father was driving and my mother was in the back seat rubbing my back. Thank goodness they gave me a pink bin, just in case.


 Once I got home and was able to take off the ice packs and get my eye drops, I finally was able to look out of my eye… only one for the right eye was swollen shut. I should have known the right side was more extensive and required more work to it. Not only did tendons and muscles have to be cut and to align but I also had terrible nystagmus that needed special attention, in both eyes but more severe in my right eye.  Only seeing out of one eye was devastating for me for forgetting everything that was wrong with my eyes, did what I promised myself I wouldn’t do:  build my hopes up for an instant miracle. So of course I was depressed.  Once my right eye was able to open, I saw double again. Was I supposed to? I called the doctor and made a follow appointment as stated on my release papers.  My father came with me, mainly for I can see well enough to drive and we after a going to the wrong buildings and many brisk walks, finally made it and the doctor was pleased. I still couldn’t understand his reactions. He asked me if I saw an improvement. I sat there and thought and said yes that my eyes weren’t bouncing as much. Still it didn’t make sense to me. I should know that recovery takes time and at that point it was only a week. I was just so built up to have instant results. He checked my eyes and I MAY still need the slightest of prisms for I still have a slight nystagmus in both eyes, but that is a nerve issue caused by my brain injury and is almost impossible to rid of but thankful to this doctor that made it less of an issue.


I just have to allow myself time to heal for the procedures he did weren’t your everyday alignment of eyes. I mean, eight years ago I was told that there was no surgery available to correct my eyesight and now look. Not perfect but every day is closer.



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Sounds like it is back to one day at a time, holding on with as much patience as you can muster, waiting for the improvements to take place.  I too would have expected instant miraculous results, I am ever a hopeful person.  But we both know that the trials and tribulations in life will always be there, to build up our strength and help us to see life as it is for many others.  I will add your name to my prayer list Kelli and pray for patience as well as healing. (((hugs)))

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kelli :


patience is a virtue. Its going to get better only can't go back to worse, it can only get better from  here, so give yourself time & patience rome wasn't built in a day.

you will be in my prayers for quick recovery & hoping to see you soon.







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