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It is Done.



William passed yesterday 9-18-18 at 1:06PM.  William had been in hospice for 1 month.   This has been the longest month of my life.  I am so relieved that the vigil is finally over.  Here it is 2:40AM and I am up.  I am so used to getting up and checking on William.

I want to thank all of you for being there for me.

I want to share that the stroke board has been a lifesaver for me since William's stroke 10 years ago.

I would suggest that anyone who needs hospice utilize it.  I thought that I was getting hospice in place early and I used it only for a month.  They provide a wonderful service.  They enabled me to keep William at home and let him die peacefully at home.  When I needed more help they gave me more help.  I started with help 3 times a week and ended up with help twice a day , every day.

This month has been a vigil that I am glad is over.  When William stopped eating and drinking, it became a matter of time.

I have wonderful friends who live around me and were able to support me through this time.  I was able to call upon them to be with me when I was afraid to be by myself.  I do encourage you to reach out for help when you need to.  Do not make yourself travel the journey by yourself.

I know that many caregivers have traveled this long road with me.  What amazes me is the accolades that I get from everybody about the way that I cared for William.  I am called a Saint, an amazing person.....but I know so many from here that have done the same. So many of us have devoted our lives to our loved ones.  

William's death brought closure to his estranged children.  They were able to see him in his last days.  Miracle of miracles who was coherent and able to speak with them.  He was able to see his ex-wife.  Life is amazing.

Now onto the next chapter in my life.  What is going to happen?

I went out to dinner with 3 of my friends last night.  It was so good to get out of the house.  Friends are wonderful.  I will be having lunch with another bunch of friends today.  My old YMCA bunch.  I have my trips to California to look forward to in November.  The quilt festival in November.

I just got off the phone with William's cousin.  It was nice to reminisce. 

I just want to thank everyone for their support.  This board has been a Godsend to me.  Thank you.



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Dear, dear Ruth, so sad that William passed away but so glad you survived the experience of being a great caregiver. Thank you for being part of the Blog Community and by doing so adding to the lives of other members. Thank you for being my friend also, it has been a great privilege. I hope the days ahead are full of happy memories rather than sad.  Big (((hugs))).

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Wow, Ruth, I am completely moved at what you have endured. It sounds like William was finding his peace you're right life is amazing. God bless you for the loving, caring, life changing role you have been during the past 10 years. As you know 1st hand stroke doesn't just happen to the stroke survivor it's effects reach far. You are a survivor and an angel for William. I'm am so glad you can feel a certain closure and release. I'm so glad you are spending time, you haven't been able to, with supportive friends. I'm so glad you are making plans and looking forward to the future. I don't know William but I could sure bet that he would want you to. I am so sorry for your loss. I think you are finding peace as well. Thank you for the brief time so far that I have been able to be a little part in your life. You ARE amazing.

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Ruth :


I am so sorry for your loss, you both have been through lot together, & what I have seen from my blog window perspective you have done your best & you are amazing caregiver. Not every one is that lucky, so many marriages break apart when going gets tough. I am glad your bond strengthen, and you had enough supportive friends to get you through difficult phase of your life. I am so happy William got closure with his children. Knowing you & your journey was great privilege. Hope days ahead You create lot of happy memories for you.




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I'm sorry for your loss. Please make sure you spend time with family and friends and know that you have been brilliant.  Surround your heart with the memories and love you have gained. Thank you for allowing us to share Williams journey with you.  Bless 

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Ruth, I have struggled to find words for your previous posts, as I still do.


William was so blessed to have you by his side.  He is now free of his daily struggle, as are you.


Much love and many prayers as you search for your new normal, with William no longer by your side but always in your heart.


God’s Blessings to you.

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I'm sorry for your loss... and I am thankful to hear that everything seemed to work together to make it as peaceful a closure as anyone could hope for.   I know you will have ups and downs in the changing of your 'role' in this life, and my prayers go with you, I hope to be able to do as well by my own husband, as you did with William.

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Ruth you are an exceptional woman and you helped facilitate the bounty of Williams life. You were blessed to have each other. I am glad you had enough help.


I am profoundly grateful when someone gets to have choices.


I hope you enjoy your freedom now. Go fly. As you come and go know that William is by your side still in spirit and it is a tribute to him to go and go live to the fullest now.

Life will open to you now and I am thrilled you àre here to share with us your remarkable relationship with a stroke survivor. Thank you.

Please be comforted. I know you miss him.

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I am so sorry for your loss, you named your blog "it is done".... I get that, on so many levels.... Thank you for always being there- thanks for your intelligence and sharing of your lives. Thinking of you.... NancyL

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