I was sitting in a movie theater watching a movie enjoying some popcorn with my son and all of a sudden I started feeling like I really needed to get my bra off eyebrow is way too tight then that pain radiates down my left shoulder and arm and even my hand and I thought something's not right here I just couldn't get a full breath even with that darn tight bra off and I did something which I never thought I do in my lifetime I leaned over and I asked my son if he could please unhook my bra because I needed to get it off.

Mom is watching the movie I had to keep covering my eyes because it was like being in an IMAX theater those the side effects were just overwhelming and I was wondering am I having a heart attack or is this my vestibular system making it very difficult for me to enjoy watching a movie. So then after a few minutes I decided to got my son again and tell him that I just couldn't do this movie so I got back into the wheelchair and he rolled me to the bathroom because I always have to go to the bathroom. So while I was in the bathroom I made the decision that I better get this checked out. So as my son rolled me to the car I was saying honey I'm just not feeling good so when he got me fast and in the seat belt and he was behind the wheel I put my hand on his and I said I want you to stay very calm and listen to what I'm saying and not panic I need to go to the hospital because I think I'm having a heart attack.

So I was okay in the car driving there but as soon as they got me out of the car and we're rolling me into the emergency room I was finding it very hard to catch my breath and it was very uncomfortable feeling and the pain that had just been kind of an a was now an intense pain and pressure and I knew I was having a heart attack and all I kept saying is please let me breathe please let me breathe and it kept asking me questions that I just couldn't answer my son was answering them for me so I was okay in the car driving there but as soon as they got me out of the car and we're rolling me into the emergency room I was finding it very hard to catch my breath and I just kept saying please let me breathe please let me breathe and I need oxygen I told the person over and over but she just kept asking questions and I couldn't answer them my mind was just focused on one thing I need to braid my son was answering the questions and I was so impatient and I think I said something that was kind of rude and my son does not like to see me behave that way why does have no filter and he just intervened and said I really think that she needs to have some oxygen and so then they took me right back to the bed and then the doctor came in and was asking some questions it was all moving so fast and people were coming at me hooking me up to things and that was overwhelming they were moving at lightning speed and I couldn't keep up with what they were saying but I was trying and I was really annoyed at everybody you were trying to save my life. He asked me to come over to the gurney from a wheelchair yeah I was super annoyed cuz they didn't have the little step stool and this is kind of sadly hilarious.

So what was kind of weird was that the person kept saying that they were really not allowed to use the stepping stool for people like patience and then she said well really the staff is not even supposed to use those and so I just blurted out then why is it in the building? And of course my son started saying come on come on you can do it up in the bed up in the bed which was code for oh you better stop talking. So then I was able to get up in the bed and then it's all just sort of a whirlwind after that I ended up upstairs and of course and no I'm trying to do what they tell me but also I'm needing to go home so that I can maintain my bed at the nursing home. There's a big long waiting list so I have to go back and claim it as mine and start that clock ticking again. Oh.

I was just getting the hang of being a stroke survivor and now I have to be a heart attack Survivor. But I'm so grateful that nothing happened on Christmas Eve or Christmas Day because my son stayed at my side and I didn't want him to be scarred I said never let this ruin your Christmas because just remember that it's a day to celebrate did I survived and if for some reason I had not made it then know that I was free not now I have another dilemma I need to get some stents so after they did the angioplasty they debated over whether or not I needed to have the bypass or the stent they decided that I'm not healthy enough to recover well from the bypass so they want to just do this dance and said that I'm more likely to you don't know. And I'm grateful because I don't know if I could have been okay with more pain on that level and I was so chicken so it's sort of a good-news-bad-news thing because I kind of need a bypass but all they can do is the skin distant is extremely risky as well but it's a lot less risk and the doctor said that the longevity prediction is the same.

I have to be brave for my loved ones right I'm so scared right now and yet I'm just still so angry that I Christmas was ruined and it doesn't even seem real that all of my problems overwhelmed my body and I could be dying but again I have borrowed time again and I can still spend some more time with my son. But he said to me that we've been spending a lot of time together since Thanksgiving and even before that so that's all it's ever Borton is spending time with their loved ones. And I think of my daughter and remind myself that that's all settled. All I keep thinking is that I having a stroke I felt such peace I didn't have this thing xiety it's like with the heart attack I told him that I felt grief like I was grieving I was so painfully grieving and having such bad anxiety when I had my stroke I was just so peaceful and then I remembered how peaceful I was in the car telling my son to take me to the hospital and it seems like the real Panic came when I couldn't take my breath so maybe that's why.

Time is wish you a very they Happy New Year and may you be blessed to spend time with those you love and thank you for the love and support I know I can always some in here God bless all of you.