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feel like looser so just rambling here



ok today is not a good day feel like complete looser & failure in life  & always needing in help in all wakes of my life. I guess in life you will have both kind of days some good some bad, today is that kind of day feeling like complete looser. I recently lost my diamond erring for my one ear which is side I prefer to sleep on. also had fight with hubby about some some personal home related issue where I said some hurtful things to him & even said hurtful things about our family God in my feat of anger  & now I feel doomed because our family God is the one who have always rescued us when we needed help   & now in my feat of anger I got my hubby upset with me & our family God man I m digging my own grave lol. These two people are the most I need in my life. ok now back to my lost earring, & why do I always loose everything, living in this world with disability is no easy thing. had it not been my hubby by my side I would have failed royally as a mother too & would have screwed up our son's life. I have to look deep within me & realize why do  I need credit or blame for anything that is happening in our life, our son's success or failures shouldn't define me & so is my abilities. or disabilities should define me or my worth as a person, when will I learn to take everything in life as prasad(gift) from God without whining about it. Anyway pray for  us.


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Take a deep breath.  Close your eyes and breathe.  See?  You are still breathing, you are still alive. 

You will find the earring when you are not looking for it.  Suddenly, you will look down, and say "Ah!  There it is!". 

We all have days where it seems that nothing goes right.  Where we think and say something we wish we didn't.  The best thing to do is to apologize to the person we hurt, and realize that we really are just human. 

Frustration leads to upset, I think that's pretty normal.

Trust that your faith will carry you, not punish you.  It has so far!

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ASHA, frustration is a feature of our Covid life, we are surrounded by situations we don't usually encounter and so are on edge. So we become both angry and disorientated. Go easy on yourself and on hubby, you are both doing your best. Do something nice for him to say sorry for your outburst and ask him if he can help you move on from there. The earring will be found. Life will go on. As long as we learn the lesson we can overcome our lack of courtesy and move forward. My experience anyway.

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Asha you are not a loser, you are an imperfect human person just like the rest of us.  Tomorrow is a new day with no mistakes in it yet. You can't undo the past, but you can acknowledge your mistakes and try not to repeat them. Say sorry to hubby and the family God and you will feel better.  Then pick up from now and do your best, that's all any of us can do. Beating yourself up for the past only makes you feel bad, it doesn't change anything.  Live your best life now and work for a better tomorrow and it will happen. Maybe not the way you wanted or planned, life is change, but that doesn't mean you don't work towards what you want.

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Prayers -- and please be kind to yourself. Life is hard for everyone and we all make mistakes , the trick is recognizing them , learning from them and moving on. Seems to me like that is exactly what your doing . There are better days ahead along with the bumpy days. You are a ray of sunshine to many people ( I appreciate your kind notes to me on my blogs) --- So be kind to yourself. 

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Asha I certainly have been in those moments where I'm stuck in a hole. Truth is it does feel yucky. I have over time learned to be kinder to myself and allow myself to be human and make mistakes without getting angry with myself. I realized that we all have our ups and downs and trust me I screw up! A lot! I'm not perfect at it but I know it helps me like myself a lot more (and probably others like me better too haha). It's so true... Tomorrow is a new fresh day. Look to your God for comfort (he is a merciful God) and apologize to someone who may have been in "the line of fire". It will help your heart heal and grow. Huggs Asha we are here for you. 😘

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