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Long haul - thats what our stroke journey has been, a long haul. Its been a decade of ups and downs - mostly downs. And we are down again. Dan has a UTI and pneumonia he was in the hospital , darn near shut his kidneys down due to the UTI and his bladder being overful . Neuralogic bladder , from the stroke. Im supposed to cath him 2 times a day... But he cries when I do - . He had his antibiotic via IV while in the hospital, but won't let the home health people give him the remaining shots now that he is home. H e won't let me cath him again. He does still void a significant amount daily- but all we are doing is borrowing time till the next problem. He refuses all medication by mouth - won't even take a pain medication. Its ridiculous. He was in the home for a few years but I brought him home when covid hit , cause - no visitors allowed . I used to take him out daily when he was in the home, and with cover that is not a option . I write this knowing there is no magical solution - I'm really just venting, this is the place all my stories from the stroke are kept - so this is where this story gets to go .


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Ouch that sound nasty. If inserting a catheter hurts can he get a permanent catheter inserted? I'm assuming a condom catheter won't help as the problem is he can't pee voluntarily so the cath needs to get behind the sphincter.  if he can't or won't take pills by mouth, would the suspensions they use for little kids help?  Of course you've probably already been through all of this and here I am offering possible solutions when you just needed to scream.


So HUGS and yes you are heard. Hang in there and try not to slap him 🙂

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I'm so very sorry Nancy. I know how difficult I am at times with my wife for so much less reason. I work on trying to be kind but mess up all the time. I can imagine the monster I might be if I had to have her do that. The fact that Dan is voiding some seems like a little good news. Praying for your strength and that this condition heals soon for you guys. 

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Oh Nancy.

I know it's tough for Dan, but it is obviously so tough for you. Knowing there's things you can do, but unable to do.

Thinking of you 


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Does massage help? I read somewhere that that is helpful. On the whole caregivers are not able to overcome the survivor's free choices. I found that with Ray, that "No" meant "#@% No!!!" And that it can become a medical problem.

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