Michael's Blog

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Take it back!



This is going to be a real shocker for those who haven't heard of mine and Kathy's history. I'm not going to tell all, but highlight.


2 summers ago me and Kathy seperated for about 3 months. I just couldn't stand being around her anymore. She has some major personality flaws that kept me in a perpetual state of being *beep* off. I know no is perfect, but like I said I'm highlighting not going into depth.


We got back together with the agreement that we'd try to work on the flaws we saw in each other. Of course, you can't pretend to be someone your not. After the marriage starting getting rough again I decided that I had had enough. I was going to have a "we should get a divorce" talk with her. That was the day the stroke entered our lives.


While Kathy was in the hospital and had lost her personality I fell back in love with her. It seemed like the stroke would solitify our marriage. She came home and started regaining her personilty minus the flaws and I was excited, but also praying that the parts of her that *beep* me off would just stay gone.


As life would have it, that didn't work out. Her flaws came back with a vengence. Now I'm back to not being able to look at her without getting mad. I'm stuck in the role of being her caregiver. I'll stick with her and continue to help her until she is able to live on her own. Her SSI and SSDI would more than support her.


I know that I'm going to get flamed for all of this. Those who know about our marrital problems either say that the stroke was the reason for them, or take the time to realize it's been comming on for a long time.


I really should be talking to her about our problems instead of blogging them, but she would deliberately back slide just to keep me longer (and yes, she would do that). I'm just tired of feeling like a possession instead of a husband.


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Hi Michael


I am so sorry to hear this.... I hope that you are able to work through the callanges that you are describing.


I really can't offer much advise in this department as I have been seperated for over ten years now and I don't have any desire to be involved with a relationship.


It keeps me busy enough looking after me. lol_2.gif


My best to both of you and if you need an ear to vent Mike I will be here eh.


Smiles smile.gif



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You're right, Michael - I'm shocked! But life is short and nobody should be unhappy doing what they're doing. My thoughts are with you and Kathy - I hope things work out so that you are both happy.





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Blogging is therapeutical and getting your feelings out in the open with your friends here can only help you defuse some of your anger. Being honest with yourself is step one to finding a solution that works for both of you, trusting others with your feelings is step two and you've just done that. You'll find your way to steps three and four now. Hang in there, you'll work it out.



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I might have an idea where you are coming from.


Lately, Lisa has been treating me more like another CNA than her husband. It has been very hard for me to deal with. We never had any kind of problems with our relationship.


I hope that you and Kathy will be able to work things out in time.



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I don't think anyone will "flame" you.. You feel..how you feel....

we all know you have give 110% to help Kathy's recovery.

You cannot Make yourself feel something if it is not there.


You will know when the time is right to talk to Kathy, maybe she does not even realize what she is doing to make you upset...


one unhappy person in a marriage = 2 unhappy people....


Is there someone that can come over and give you a break for a day or two....It is hard when resentment is building.


I wish you both the best in a rough situation.


Remember friends are here to support you..not judge you




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