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Marrried to the Martre



My husband works a 40 hr/wk job that often requires more hours. Plus he's my caregiver, though I'm pretty much self contained these days. I dress/feed and even drive myself. Our son is living at home as is his girlfriend...see old blog entry about daughter to whom I never gave birth. All he asks is for the house to be picked up when he comes home from work. This chore doesn't fall on my shoulders only...son and girlfriend are obligated, too.

The last two days, the dishes weren't done so my martre husband washed them himself and wouldn't accept my help or offer to do it instead.


Now mind you, the dished don't need to be done every day. But somedays those dishes seem to reproduce themselves while waiting to be washed. I don't feel the need to wash the dishes when there is only a bowl and a couple spoons to be done. Since I'm not the one using the bowls and/or spoons I'm not aware of the pile-up occuring.


So, what's the problem? I feel guilty for not washing the dishes and hubby does them after putting in a 9 hour day of work. Especially, since I don't do anything else of productivity at this house. If it weren't for the dissability insurance, I feel I am only dead weight to my husband.


Son and girlfriend are another story. Both tend to have an entitlement attitude about themselves...that they are too good for any real work. Son is greatly improved in this area...he is pitching in and doing things like mowing and cleaning the house. NO, we don't mow the house. waycon1.gif


Anyway, I'm experiencing a mixed bag of emotions and am trying to not slide into the abyss of depression about not being useful and worthless and a burden.





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Before I had a dishwasher I used to keep a plastic dishpan underneath the sink and as dishes got dirty I put them in the pan---still underneath the sink. When it got full, I'd move the pan to the sink and do them. This kept them out of sight so the kitchen always looked "picked up." Not sure if this would be a good compromise for you or not....not sure if you could move the pan yourself. But I thought I'd throw it out there anyway.



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i know all about martyrs. my mother is one, and my soon to be ex is one!!!!! at least joe doesn't go on and on about SEE WHAT I DID, and give you play by play graphics about his "good deeds" that is really frustrating to me!!!! and it seems to me, that you do an AWFUL lot, probably more than you realize!!!!!!!!



kim pash.gifpash.gifpash.gifpash.gif

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I found a good way to do dishes is put the dishes in the is sink with hot water add some dish washer soap and a bit of water softener if you like ..... soak the dishes till the water is cool enough to put your hands in, then they should come squeaky clean in no time .... that's the soap you use in a dishwasher

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