TURD TALK
EVERYONE WHO KNOWS ME KNOWS I'M A STRANGE PERSON DRAWN TO THE BIZARRE AND UNUSUAL. I CAN'T BLAME THAT ON THE STROKE!!!!! LOL. YESTERDAY WAS NO EXCEPTION. I HAVE BEEN FORTUNATE ENOUGH TO BECOME CLOSE FRIENDS WITH MICHAEL( GREYHE/HOSTMICHAEL) WHO RIVALS ME IN THE "WEIRD" CATEGORY. IN FACT, WE ARE IDENTICAL TWINS WITH THE ONLY DIFFERENCE BEING GENDER AND TIME!!!!!
SO, WHEN ONE OF MY "STRANGE" THOUGHTS POPPED INTO MY HEAD TODAY, MICHAEL WAS THE FIRST( AND ONLY) LOL, PERSON WITH WHOM I COULD SHARE. I CLICKED ON YAHOO MESSNGER AND SAID, "MICHAEL U THERE?". HE CAME BACK, YUP, IN BETWEEN JOBS". I SAID "MICHAEL, I HAVE A QUESTION". HE GOES "OK, SHOOT". I SAID " HOW MANY TIMES A DAY DO YOU TAKE A DUMP AND WHAT ARE YOUR STOOLS LIKE?".
THIS CONVERSATION LASTED ABOUT 30 MINUTES, STRICTLY "TURD TALK". I WAS SERIOUSLY LAUGHING SO HARD THAT I LITERALLY CRIED!!!!!
I WON'T REVEAL HIS "BOWEL SITUATION". LOL, HE CAN BLOG IT LATER IF HE SO CHOOSES. I CAN HOWEVER, TELL A LITTLE STORY OF MY OWN.
I AM AND ALWAYS HAVE BEEN CONSTIPATED OR THE OPPOSITE. I KNOW, TMI!!!!! BUT, ( NO PUN INTENDED) I THINK THIS STEMS FROM STRESS AND NERVOUS ENERGY. THE WORST THING I CAN THINK OF IS CONSTIPATION. IT IS MORE HORRIBLE THAN A TOOTHACHE. JANICE BLOGGED ABOUT A SIMILAR TOPIC ONCE, AND IF I REMEMBER CORRECTLY, I COMMENTED" HAVING A GOOD BM GIVES ME A WARM FUZZY FEELING"
MY WORST EXPERIENCE I REMEMBER IS BEING ON A "VACATION" WITH MY SOON TO BE EX-HUSBAND WHO MADE ME TENSE AND A NERVOUS WRECK WITH HIS SCHEDULES AND LISTS, AND A TEMPORARY ROOT CANAL FILLING CAME OUT AND CAUSED SEVERE PAIN. HENCE, I COULDN'T EAT FOR FIVE DAYS AND WHEN I FINALLY FOUND A DENTIST TO FIX THE TOOTH, I WAS STARVING TO DEATH AND ATE LIKE A PIG. ********BIG MISTAKE************
SO, I WAS CONSTIPATED FOR 8 MISERABLE DAYS AND NOTHING OVER THE COUNTER WORKED. JUST WHEN I WAS AT THE POINT I WAS GOING TO THE EMERGENCY ROOM, OR GOING TO BUY SOME RUBBER GLOVES, ........eureka!!!!!!!!!!!! IT WAS ONE OF THE HAPPIEST DAYS OF MY LIFE!!!!!! I'LL NEVER FORGET THE JOY.
AFTER SWAPPING THESE AND OTHER BOWEL MOVEMENT STORIES WITH MICHAEL, I WAS HAPPY TO KNOW THAT I'M NOT THE ONLY ONE WHO CAN'T "DO IT" WITH ANYONE PRESENT, AND I WASN'T THE ONLY ONE WHO HATED PUBLIC RESTROOMS!!!!!!!! AFTER I GOT THROUGH LAUGHING, MY DAY WAS BETTTER AND MY HEART LIGHTER!!!!!!
SOMETIMES, "TURD TALK" CAN BE VERY THERA "PEW" TIC!!!!!!!!
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