Didn't have a good day today, no real reason. Ray had an "accident" last night, tipped his half full urinal over the bedroom floor. 3am and I am on my hands and knees wiping over the carpet with old towels and spraying deodorant liberally around. So I was tired today and not functioning very well.
A couple of people have had a "word" with me this week about putting Ray into respite and giving myself some time off. As a full-time Carer on a Carers Pension I am entitled to 30 days a year of respite for Ray in a hostel or nursing home. I would have to book into a "free period" make the arrangements, send all his meds, adequate clothing, some personal items. I would have to write him a bio, get a medical history, sign authorities for whatever treatment they thought necessary. The respite is in fortnightly units and would cost the equivalent of his pension plus about 20%. A lot of carers do use respite. I didn't qualify until last year (?) because of his age and ability level (I think).
I used respite when I had Mum usually three times a year (she was entitled to up to 60 days) and I found out how hard it was to bring her back and take on the burden again. Also she learned new habits in respite that I had to gently break her of. Like sitting up to the table and expecting meals to appear by magic or in front of us when we were watching television and clapping her hands and singing.Seems in respite whatever the person does is okay so it takes a while afterwards to settle down to home rules again.
So far I have said I am coping with Ray, but as he has more strokes, TIAs etc and loses more functions maybe I am not coping as well. I will need to have some time to myself if the workload gets heavier.