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IDENTICAL COUSINS


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WELL, MOST ALL OF THE BLOG COMMUNITY KNOW MICHAEL AND I ARE FREAKS OF NATURE AND TALK ABOUT EVERYTHING FROM UNDERWEAR TO TURDS!!!!!WE FINALLY KNOW WHY WE ARE SO ALIKE. THIS IS THE STRANGEST OF ALL CONVERSATIONS TO THIS POINT. HERE'S THE TRANSCRIPT, AS I REMEMEBER IT!!!! whoosh.gif

 

 

 

 

M: HAVE YOU EVER HAD A RELATIONSHIP WHETHER FRIEND, FAMILY OR SPOUSE WHO JUST PLAIN OUT HAD POOR TASTE?

 

K: MMMMMMMMM HELL YEAH!!!!!!

 

 

M: I HAVE A STORY FOR YA, BUT IT MIGHT UPSET YOU.

 

K: GO AHEAD, I'M SURE I'VE SEEN WORSE.

 

M: OK, ONE OF "MINE" HAD A DINNER PARTY AND SHE SERVED THE FOOD ON MISMATCHED PLATES WITH PAPER NAPKINS AND STUCK A FORK IN THE FOOD AND JUST HANDED IT TO THE GUESTS WITH MISMATCHED GLASSES.

 

K: DEAR GOD IN HEAVEN, THAT'S GROUNDS FOR ARREST !!!!!!

 

M: I KNEW IT WOULD UPSET YOU.

 

K: OK, I'VE GOT ONE WORSE THAN THAT, WANNA HEAR?

 

M: I GUESS I CAN TAKE IT, SHOOT

 

K: PICTURE THIS........ ANTIQUE PINK LINEN TABLE CLOTH WITH OFF WHITE STRIPES, MATCHING CENTERPIECE WITH FRESHLY CUT CAMELLIAS AND CANDLE STICKS TO MATCH OFFSET COLOR, CHINA, FLATWARE, CRYSTAL BOWLS TO HOLD THE CONDIMENTS, AND CRYSTAL STEMWARE.

 

M: I'M AFRAID TO KNOW THE REST, IS IT WHAT I THINK?

 

K: YES, AND GET READY, THIS IS BAD. BEFORE I COULD CATCH HIM HE PLACED A BLUE DIXIE CUP AND AN UGLY BOTTLE OF KETCHUP WITH A CRUSTY TOP ON MY TABLE.

 

LONG SILENCE..........................................................

 

 

K: MICHAEL, ARE YOU OKAY?

 

M: HOLD ON, I'M TRYING TO RECOVER, I FEEL SICK. KIM, THAT'S GROUNDS FOR JUSTIFIABLE HOMICIDE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

 

M: OK, I HAVE ONE TO TOP THAT

 

K: I DOUBT IT BUT YOU CAN TRY

 

M: I HAD ONE ONCE TO ORDER A PASTA DISH IN A RESTAURANT, AND INSTEAD OF USING THE SPOON TO WRAP THE PASTA, JUST LIFTED IT OFF THE PLATE WITH A FORK AND HELD IT ABOVE HER HEAD AND SLURPED IT DOWN

 

K: NO WAY!!!!!

 

M: YES WAY

 

K: I HAVE ONE WORSE

 

M: IF YOU CAN TOP THAT GO AHEAD AND TRY

 

K: ONE OF MINE POSTED A SPORTS PRINT WITHOUT A FRAME, SOME ALABAMA FOOTBALL POSTER THINGY, RIGHT NEXT TO MY EXPENSIVE AND BEAUTIFULLY FRAMED MONET PRINT.

 

 

M: OMG.

 

 

K: TOLD YA IT WAS BAD

 

 

M: OK, HERE'S ONE. ONE OF MINE ONCE USED ONE OF MY MATCHING CRYSTAL GOBLETS TO DRINK A PEPSI OR SOMETHING WHICH WAS IN ITSELF BAD ENOUGH, THEN SHE PUT IT IN THE SINK AND PUT SOME DIRTY POT ON TOP OF IT AND BROKE IT

 

K: OMG. HOW DID YOU KEEP YOUR COOL?

 

M: PURE SELF RESTRAINT, I WAS APPALLED

 

K: HAVE YOU EATEN YET?

 

M: NO, GO AHEAD, IT'S A FREE FOR ALL NOW

 

K: OK, I'LL START OFF SLOWLY. HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT THE SMACKERS, AND THE LICKERS?

 

M: CAN'T TAKE IT

 

K: WELL, ONE OF MINE WOULD TAKE A CAN OF SPAY WHIPPED CREAM, USE IT, THEN LICK THE TOP.

 

M: THAT MAKES ME NAUSEATED, HOW REPULSIVE!!!!!

I CAN'T THINK OF MUCH WORSE, EXCEPT, THIS IS PRETTY BAD, YOU READY?

 

K: SURE , I MADE YOU SICK, NOW IT'S YOUR TURN AGAIN.

 

M: OK, WHAT ABOUT DOUBLE DIPPERS?

 

K: OH NO, NOT THAT

 

M: YUP. I HAD ONE ONCE WHO DOUBLE DIPPED EVERYTHING FROM CHIPS AND DIP TO NACHOS AND CHEESE

 

K: THAT'S WHY I RARELY EAT AT PARTIES. HOW REVOLTING AND BACTERIA RIDDEN!! IT'S LIKE GROWING A CULTURE IN BIO CLASS!!!!!!

 

M: YUP, I KNOW AND IT TURNS MY STOMACH, I HAVE TO TURN MY HEAD, CAN'T WATCH IT.

 

K: OK, WHAT ABOUT FINGER LICKERS

 

M: KIM, PLEASE DON'T EVEN GO THERE, I CAN'T DEAL WITH IT.

 

K: I HAVE AN AUNT WHO WILL MAKE A MIXED DRINK, STIR IT WITH HER FINGER, THEN LICK IT

 

M: THAT IS SO GROSS BUT I HAVE A BETTER ONE ON THAT TOPIC. I HAVE AN UNCLE WHO WILL TAKE FRIED CHICKEN LIKE THE BREAST OR THIGH, AND EAT IT AND GNAW ON IT LIKE A DOG, THEN SUCK HIS FINGERS AFTER!!!!

 

 

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K: MICHAEL, YOU AND I ARE SO MUCH ALIKE, DO YOU THINK WE MAY BE RELATED?

 

M: WELL, DARK HAIR AND BLUE EYES ARE RECESSIVE TRAITS.

 

K: YEAH, I HAVE SOME UNUSUAL PHYSICAL TRAITS THAT HAVE TO BE HEREDITARY. DO YOU MIND IF I ASK YOU SOME PERSONAL QUESTIONS ABOUT YOUR PHYSICAL CHARACTERICS TO SEE IF THEY ARE THE SAME AS MINE?

 

M: NO, GO AHEAD I AM CURIOUS NOW.

 

K: OK, I WON'T SAY WHERE OR ASK YOU WHERE, BUT DO YOU HAVE SOME UNUSAL FRECKLES OR MOLES IN PLACES THAT THE GENERAL PUBLIC CAN'T SEE?

 

M: YUP

 

K: YOU HAVE BLUE EYES LIKE MINE, BUT MINE DO A STRANGE THING. I HAVE BEEN TOLD THAT DURING AN"AMOROUS MOMENT" THEY ALMOST TURN

 

 

M/K SIMULTANEOUSLY................GREEN..........................................

 

 

K: OMG, THIS IS TOO FREAKY

 

M: YOU KNOW HOW YOU BLOGGED ABOUT YOUR BONY KEES AND ELBOWS?

 

K: YES

 

M: WELL, I WASN'T GOING TO SAY ANYTHING, BUT MIGHT AS WELL NOW, MINE ARE BONY TOO. AND I BET YOUR WRIST BONES STICK OUT MORE THAN THE AVERAGE PERSON AND YOU HAVE LONG FINGERS AND YOUR SECOND TOE IS LONGER THAN YOUR BIG TOE

 

K: YES, AND I ALSO HAVE WHAT IS KNOWN AS A TILTED RIB CAGE SO MY RIBS KINDA STICK OUT A LITTLE, YOU TOO?

 

M: YUP, AND WHAT ABOUT YOUR SKIN. I AM FAIR, BUT WHEN I GET IN THE SUN I GET RED THEN TAN EASILY. I CAN GET PAPER BAG BROWN IF I WANT EVEN THOUGH I'M FAIR, YOU TOO?

 

K: EXACTLY. I KNOW YOU ARE PART CHEROKEE. YOU KNOW, DADDY DID A GENEOLOGY STUDY ONCE AND I DO REMEMBER HIM SAYING HIS GRANDMOTHER WAS A FULL BLOODED CHEROKEEE INDIAN WHO MARRIED A WHITE MAN NAMED COX AND THEY MIGRATED TO KENTUCKY BUT I DON'T REMEMBER WHERE. DO YOU HAVE ANY COX IN YOUR FAMILY?

 

 

M: MMMMMMMMM ONLY MY GRANDMOTHER

 

 

K: NO WAY!!!!!

 

 

M: YES WAY

 

K: NO WAY!!!!!!

 

M: YES WAY

 

K: NO WAY!!!!!

 

M: WAY

 

 

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THEN MICHAEL BURST OUT TO THE THEME SONG FROM "THE PATTY DUKE SHOW"

 

 

 

COUSINS, IDENTICAL COUSINS. THEY LOOK ALIKE THEY WALK ALIKE SOMTIMES THEY EVEN TALK ALIKE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

 

WELL, THE ODDS ARE REMOTE, BUT THE COINCIDENCES ARE FAR TOO GREAT TO BE IGNORED. IT CERTAINLY WOULD EXPLAIN A LOT!!!!!!!!!

 

 

 

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lol kim your a nut!!!! seeems like u have some querks there though young lady

do you drink your tea from a masson jar?

its ok if u do u b in da south!!! lol no ketchup top licking though ok or mustard

for dat matter either, u atleast suck your fingers when u eat bbq ribs or chicken dont ya iffen ya dont u aint nair one bit kuntry

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Stan;

You don't have to be country to be southern.

 

Kimberly;

You're going to have people wondering what we talk about that can't be posted lol_2.gif

 

Michael

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mike u dont have boobs and a big butt do you lol

ok little sis u r still a nut though

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