I HATE AUGUST
well I have never liked August very well, my 6 yr old son passed away from neuroblastoma on August 8th after fighting a courageous battle. My best friend was visiting me in August and he son commited suicide on August 4th.
My friend Carol and I met whenour sons were in kindergarden. We hit it off right away..we both had 2 kids, our two oldest in kindergarden, then my daugter and she had another son a little younger than my daughter. We became very close and did everything together. People called us the "bobbsey twins"..we even got jobs at the same store..We were ther for each other thru thick and thin. When I had to rush Aaron to the hospital all I had to do was call Carol and she was ready to take Tracy for me..when her husband was abusive betqween the two of us we scrapped the money together for bus tickets and money for food for her and the boys to get to Washington..where I had moved. she stayed 4 months, and then her husband was in a very bad car accident so they went back to Ohio. My husband at the time was getting very ill and ended up on dialysis, I ran the dialysis unit at home for a little over a year and he passed away. The next year Carol's husband had a brain anueuryism and passed away...
She was out here visiting me and her oldest son commited suicide..what a nightmare..just before 21....
I got a phone call today from her sister....Carol is inthe hospital, she was diagnosed with cancer, very aggresive..has already spread to liver and brain. I got to talk to her a few minutes tonight, but she had just returned to her room from her first radiation treatment and her family was there..She said can you call me in the morning I will be better able to talk then...so I am counting the hours until morning and I can call.. I was okay talking to her sister, but as soon as we heard each other's voices we both choked up.. and I know she didn't want to break down in front of her parents....and I am worried, scared and all....it is going to be a long night and I am trying to put it in god's hands.. I am just rambling at ths point and keep thinking of the funny crazy things we did and pictures in my mind of the kids playing. we helped each other paint our houses and layed carpet. she kept me sane after my sons death. the phone calls and visits taking her to Victoria and sight seeing in Seattle. the 3,000 miles distance but how close we stayed anyway. A friend in a million a sister of my heart...
I do not want to lose her, but it is in God's hands now, I do not want her to suffer,
I just want to yell..why...this is harder than the stroke and recovery....
I am hoping for a miracle....I want to jump on a plane and fly back, when I talk to her tomorrow I am hoping to knoe more...and if possible I will get back there somehow....she has a stong support system, family with her...
well will try to sleep so morning gets here faster....
I just had to get this out....
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