Michael's Blog

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Her family



Last night was a rough one for me and Kathy.


Kathy's sister called and said that having Kathy move up to MI would disrupt their lives too much and she should just stay down here. Then she went into this speach how she was better than me because she stuck by her husband, and their work and home lives couldn't revolve around taking care of an invalid.


I got so *beep* after 10 minutes of her lecturing me I hung up. When she called back I gave her to Kathy and Kathy got so *beep* she told her to never call her again. Seems Sherry told Kathy she had enough to deal with since she just lost her mom. That through Kathy through the roof because she was her mom as well.


I spent the past 7 months caregiving to someone I was about to divorce before teh stroke and think I've done a terrific job at it. Where does Sherry get off saying she can't handle taking care of an "invalid"? Kathy is at the point now that she can do everything herself except cook, clean, and prepare her Lantus injections.


After talking with Kathy we decided to see about getting her into an assisted living program here in town. I wanted her in MI so she could be around her family with Thanksgiving and Christmas comming up. I may not love or like her the way a husband should, but that doesn't mean I want to see her suffer. Heck if it wasn't for the her being bipolar now, the manipulation, the possesiveness, the attempts at emotional abuse, and the fact that I'm basically having to be a parent to my wife (this comes from way before the stroke except for her being bipolar) I might consider working things out.


As things stand now, she's alienated from her family leaving me with all the emotional burden. If Kentucky divorce laws weren't so screwed up I'd simply divorce her and continue being her caregiver until she was completely ready to move out. But thanks to the laws, we have to be living seperately for at least 60 days.


None of our problems are stemming from me not wanting to be her caregiver. They all stem from me not wanting to be her husband. I'm tired of living in a loveless marriage full of emotional strife. Even while I was posting about well things were going, I was fighting back the emotionall pain of having to worry and care for someone I didn't want to be involved with.


I know this is a long post about nothing, but it feels great to get a lot of it off my chest. Time to get to work.


Recommended Comments

Keep the faith Mike, things have a way of working out for the betterment of those concerned. Speaking from experience, I'm on my 4th and last marriage. There is give and take on both ends.


When both ends don't meat, you have to use fish. I learned long time ago. Praise and peace I pray in your situation sir.

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