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sweets for my sweet


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"Sweets for my sweet, sugar for my honey". Used to be the words of a song from the 60's. Tonight I ranted at Ray on the way home from our Lions dinner. I was careful with his meal, made sure it was cut up small enough, easy to swallow etc. he did well with it, ate it all, no coughing fit.

 

I went to the toilet and when I came back one of the kinder, older women had put a bowl of small chocolate biscuits in front of him and he was eating his way through them.

 

"OMG Ray is a DIABETIC," I wanted to scream it out. Instead I smiled and said:"Not a good idea to eat those at this time of night." And he said: "It won't hurt." And the ladies smiled and looked at me as if I was Attila the Honey (chief of the food police). And he went on eating until they were all gone.

 

I know diabetics have a sweet tooth and people think I am hard on Ray if I don't allow him to eat as many biscuits, chocolates, pieces of cake etc that he wants. But we did have a visit from the dietician today and when she asked about bad food habits did he confess to this? Of course he didn't.It is tough being a stroke survivor, I know that and tougher still if you have diabetes and other things like gout and osteoporosis etc. And it is harder still if you have swallowing problems and can't eat your favourite steak and eggs. But it is no good eating the wrong food and expecting to have good results with recovery either. High sugar readings don't make problems go away, though the sugar high immediately after eating the sugar may make you feel better.

 

It is a dilemma trying to balance healthy eating, a good lifestyle and all the recovery issues. I don't want to be the "wife who takes all the fun out of life." But I know a healthy husband is one of the things I want in my future.

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You nailed that one "the wife who takes all the fun out of life." I'm the one to remind him to take his pills, to go to bed because he's falling asleep on the couch, to be "careful", to call him everyday on my lunch hour to see what kind of day he's having, etc.

 

Am I his mother or his wife?

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Sue,

 

Doesn't that just drive you crazy, that the 'well meaning' people of the world will give our diabetic husbands sweets, even when we tell them they are diabetics? When Don is offered that stuff, he'll start to take it and I'll say, "Are you still diabetic today?" And part of the time that will be enough to get him to refuse. Other times the people with the cake or pie in hand will say, "Oh, one piece won't hurt him." Ya, has he/she been following us around all day and know what else he might have eaten that he shouldn't have? There is a weigh issue, too, with wheelchair bound people...no way to work off all those calories. Anyway, Sue, I know how you feel! We're the ones who have to pick up the pieces when things go wrong.

 

Jean

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we have to wear so many hats that we don't know which one to wear when .. I wish we could just figure out the temperament of the day or minute it would make things so much easier.. sometimes I don't know why he is being so difficult and later I realize he just doesn't understand some procedures and then I get the verbal abuse that really hurts as I try my very best to make things as normal as possible and retain some sort of harmony with daily living. I also know about the food limitations as hubby is also a diabetic and is not as cooperative as he should be at times telling me he will eat what he wants to ...so I'm not going to fight over it when his blood sugar goes over 6.4 or higher he says he has to watch,,,but he's lucky he is able to control his diabetes with pills/// metformin.....

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Wife, mother, nurse, gardener, secretary, treasurer etc. I spend most of my time organising our lives.

Jean - weight on is what Ray wants as he suddenly loses his appetite and doesn't find it again for a while.

Deenie - high blood sugar is part the problem that can make them silly, in your husband's case abusive. But they are like boys caught with their hand in the cookie jar, going to deny it every time.

Susan - take a deep breath, count to ten. Smile. Then speak. Keep doing your balancing act as happily as you can. That's my plan too.

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