I'm the picky one in our family now and sometimes I just hate myself for it. When the home truths start to get too much, just walk away. I think mine stems from frustration and from the "if only" feeling. If only they would just do as I say life would be perfect, or alterantely NOT.

Breathe in slowly, turn, walk away.

Sue.

I know exactly what you are describing. Have you ever had a small child help you bake brownies? They know nothing about baking and their main idea of "helping" is to mess around and have fun. Pre stroke I always let my kids help me bake, even though it took 3 times as long, it was harder to concentrate and follow directions. It was enjoyable bonding time, but ultimately was it a smooth time, where nothing went wrong? No, it was frustrating to have them "help". Now turn this story around and place yourself and your husband in it. It is frustrating to begin working with another to do anything if they aren't coming at it from the same place or skill level. That is how it is for a survivor who needs to depend on someone else to help do things they once completed easily themselves pre stroke. I know post stroke, I hadn't the patience required to calmly teach someone how to do something I needed done the right way. I became snappy and grumpy too. At times it seemed as if I expected , wrongly whomever was helping to know what I wanted done.

What added to the frustration for me, was that in my mind I could visualize how it needed to be completed but I still needed help in accomplishing that. So I was a beast to do anything with. I have gotten better. I either do it myself or have discovered the patience to talk someone through a project.

Pam

Wow, that helps to have someone on "the other end" explain it like that! Intellectually I "know" how he must feel, but a lot of the time, because he doesn't "look" like anything should be wrong with him, I think it's hard for me to remember that he did have a stroke and things will never be the same again.

And I am the MOST unmechanical person in the world and we would have had problems working on a project like this before. The difference is, back then, "I" wouldn't have been involved in it! (~_~)

But things happen, life changes, and you go with the flow!

Susan

You sound like me a few years back:"Of course I am making a mess of it, it isn't my job anyhow." These days I realise i is all my job, some I just do better than others.

Ray was the driver, mechanic, builder, fixer in our family, I was part-time worker, homemaker, mother ,volunteer.

As I took over more of his jobs I did less of mine. It is hard to find a balance but with a sense of humour and not too high an expectation you can still live together fine.

just lost the reply I just was about to post so will try again first of all love reading your blocs.... I too have to do a lot of the everyday duties that are required to carry on with a normal life .... so instead of being one person you end up being three in one as I usually have to check on the things he has done or not done... like closing lites, turning off the water,turning off the truck motor,and not leaving the lites on in the vehicles,closing the garage door,, just to name a few so as you say it takes -----patience..... ome days better than the other...deenie