I have one good friend who hasnt left through the years of chaos and then stroke. She is 79 and just had an aneurysm repaired. I met her and her husband maybe 10 years ago when I was working as a home care nurse. Some patients become family and these two were. Harold died last year on December 17. I want to remember that and do something special for Martha. Right now, Martha is still in the hospital. I talked with her daughter and though she has been at Martha's bedside and worried about the severity of her mom's problems, she took the time to be concerned for me. She reminded me with scripture and I want to remind myself of the promises and comforts that God has for anyone who asks.

Often I remember that He has said that we will not be given any more than we can handle, and there are times when I sit on the deck and look to the sky and ask Him who He thinks I am?

Just the other day I had communicated with my husband who is so sick and lost that I know that there is only one set of footprints but find myself checking that He has a good grip on me...like when we would carry our little ones toward the ocean and they would hold on tighter to be sure we didnt let go...Martha's daughter reminded me of that...He is carrying me...

I need more faith...I know that I must have some...but I am sure that I need more because I still hear satan's voice too loudly.

I am writing this more for me...this is what I need...I am not wanting anyone to read and be offended by my thoughts...they are mine. and I need to remind myself as much as I can that He will cause all that was meant to hurt me to be used for good and most importantly to glorify His name.