I really don't understand what is going on with Chris right now. For the past 2 weeks he has been in a terrible rotten mood.

He doesn't care any more, he has gotten very nasty at times with people and he is constantly complaining and very negative with me. He is very demanding. I can't even sit down for 5 minutes and he starts calling for me because he wants something or something hurts, etc. etc.

Tonight I was just about ready to choke him. While I was getting him ready for bed - he informed me that he doesn't care anymore, he is gonna eat whatever he wants - "Everyone else in the family does" - and "I'm never gonna get any better" and it just went on and on.

I finally told him that I am tired of his negative attitude. I reminded him that he never took care of himself, he ate whatever he felt like and barely got 4 hours of sleep a night. I told him that he needed to look at himself for some of the reasons of why he might have had this stroke. I also told him that it was not fair that he takes this out on me and that I was not going to take it anymore. I reminded him that I did nothing but fight when he was in the nursing home, I fought to get him out and now I continue to fight to get him whatever he needs and to get him into this rehab. I also told him that he has no right to talk to me the way he does.

I really don't understand the constant degree of pain that he has. I also feel that the doctors are baffled about it. The neurologist has increased his Neurotin to 3000mg daily - the rehab doctor has increased his Baclifin to 30mg daily and he also has Percocet for break through pain and he also has a pain patch that gets changed every 3 days. I can't for the life of me imagine how he could have so much pain all the time. Now the rehab doctor has increased the mg on his pain patch. Maybe this is wrong of me to think - but - I wonder does he really have this much pain or is this an attention getter??????????

I had asked him today again if he wanted to get involved with the stroke support group connected with the rehab that he may be going to and he tells me NO!!! He doesn't want to talk to anyone or get involved with anyone for support to help him. I can't force him - he's 51 years old. But until Chris gains some acceptance of what happened to him and tries to go on now with his life even though disabled - I'm afraid that he is going to be a very unhappy person.