I had a hard OT therapy session today. My OT always does a little gait therapy with me to better help my affected arm hang more natural.

WEll I have heard, post stroke that I don't shift my weightcorrectly over my left hip, (over my knee correctly.) I know the suggestions are good, but hell, I am glad to freakin walk, screwed up or not as it looks. I don't care if my gait is not run-way quality or not. She left me with a list to #7 of excersizes to be working on. I think I may actually work hard and do them this time.

Sometimes, it is hard being the student/patient all the time. Yeah, I want to get better, but it is so damn hard on the survivor as well. I have some air putty to be using with my affected arm, squeeze, then let go, I thought once I had movement in my hand, I would work hard on any hand activity. It is brain work. I get soo tired, that just moving my hand, with the putty, makes me too brain tired to walk good.

After gait training, my brain short circuited, and I could barely walk. I felt like such a cripple! I hate doing therapy infront of my hubby, b/c it seems like it points out, how damaged I am.

I guess, I had gone a couple of moths with no therapy, and thought I was half-way normal again. Not true.

I have soo many areas to work on, it is hard to start. I will work hard, but it just seems like endless work on days like today. Little gains, I can't see, make it hard to be your own cheerleader. Rah, Rah, work hard= semi-normal. (Don't know, does it?)

I need to take the excersize suggestions as great ideas, and not insults.

Enough of my blogging..

-Amy