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About this blog

Motherhood & daily survivor life of a Mommy

Entries in this blog

it's been awhile

since i have blogged. I have been battling post stroke pain and trying new meds. Some days i think i am getting worse! I know i have been depressed. 2nd grade and my daughter is keeping me very busy! I have tutored at the local school and i swear i have caught all of the virus' and germs. Anyway... just was reading up and checking up on the SN bloggers. Cheers- ~Amy

mrsamymichelle

mrsamymichelle

our family vacation, my baby turned 7

June 20th my family (husband, daughter and myself) went to the Bahama's (South Andros) to visit some of my family. WE had a wonderful time, and I experienced things that i thought i would never be able to experience being a survivor. I went snorkleing on the coral reef. I could do it!!! Now, I did snorkle holding onto a flotation device, but the things i saw while snorkling were amazing! Fish of every color, sea fans, coral, blue holes,yes...a shark!   I did have fatigue while on vacation

mrsamymichelle

mrsamymichelle

The concert

I'm just home from the Evanescence concert. It was fabulous and I was very nervous about driving and parking, and keeping up with my daughter... who went with me. WE did fine. WE arrived plenty early enough to give ourselves plenty of time to park, potty, and find our seats. I really love this band. The bands songs gave me great strength to me after my stroke, and it was a very emotional concert for me. Yes, I cried happy tears at it. That is just how I do at concerts.... pre-stroke I wen

mrsamymichelle

mrsamymichelle

coffee & the concert

Today I ordered some raw coffee beans to try roasting myself :big_grin: . I plan on using the oven and it will be an experience, and smoky I'm told....   I'm excited about trying it. I'm in search of the perfect cup of coffee. I didn't become much of a coffee drinker until after my stroke-I use to make a noon pot of coffee just to stay awake until 8:00 p.m. Now I only make a half pot of coffee in the a.m.   My daughter and I have a big weekend this weekend. The end of school today

mrsamymichelle

mrsamymichelle

jogging & freckle popping

I have started, AHEM, "started" to try to jog some when I walk. The walking path is divided into 1/10 of a mile marks, and I walk one then I TRY to jog one. It is hard, I have to stop when my foot starts to drop, but today I have noticed my jog stride is getting longer and my left leg is getting stronger. I started out jogging holding onto my hubby's arm. Then I tried it by myself with tiny tiny steps(It was oh-so-scary). I am trying to focus on putting my weak foot down heel toe, heel toe,

mrsamymichelle

mrsamymichelle

everything looked good

The doctor's office called and everything looked great. I'm so releived. Why do I do this to myself? I make myself age years, in just days from worrying. Also I have a bad habit of trying to read the echo techs body language when doing the test. Then I go home and replay the body language and wonder what it "might have meant." Does anyone else do this, or is it me and my mental disorders?? ~Amy

mrsamymichelle

mrsamymichelle

I didn't find anything out...yet

Well, I really didn't find anything out except "You seem to be doing well" and I have gained weight (I already knew that :blush: ) They went ahead and did an echocardiogram-I'll find out in a few days...)   I did however come to think....you know I could do open heart surgery again if need be. I don't know the life of my valve repair but one day it may have to be re-repaired. It is just a releif to have the appointment over, and hopefully not another one for a while.   After my a

mrsamymichelle

mrsamymichelle

shaking in my boots

Yes, I am scared, I am about to go see my cardiologist and hopefully get a good check up. I have no symptoms-(shortness of breath) but my fear is that they will hear something "funny." This also is the first time I am going solo without my hubby with me. I know I can do this-I'm just nervous. I have already gotten sick to my stomach from my nerves. My inpatient rehab gym is in the same building as my cardiologist and the smell of the building brings me PTSD. I like to pretend I guess my

mrsamymichelle

mrsamymichelle

a feeling of loss

Last week, we buried my grandfather. I now have one grandparent left. I guess I thought things would always stay "the same". What happens when my parents are gone too?? I will no longer have someone to go "visit" and no need to go back to my childhood town. I do not enjoy going back now, but knowing that one day I will not need to go back-makes me sad.   I did not recognize my grandfather at the visitation and I had gone to visit him a week b4 his death. I wouldn't have been able to

mrsamymichelle

mrsamymichelle

no make up= liberating

My hubby has helped me get to the point where I am not wearing makeup daily and it feels so liberating, what are women hiding behind that stuff anyway? It feels so good to be able to wipe/rub an eye without "oh I may smear my makeup" There was a time in my life where I wouldn't go to the grocery store without a full face of make-up on. It's still nice to wear make up occasionally, but it is also nice to be able to feel great without it.

mrsamymichelle

mrsamymichelle

Girl Scout cookies,paint, and light fixtures

Tomorrow I tread into the unknown waters of selling G.S. cookies, we have a parent troop meeting and will be getting all of the cookie information. I despise fundraisers, but we will try this one year and if isn't too much of a headache.. we may participate next year.   Hubby has been on vacation this week and has been doing one house project after the other. Our garage lanterns have been broken for some time and he bought new and replaced them this morning, and repainted our LR (I picked

mrsamymichelle

mrsamymichelle

I think I need to get back on my Anti Depressants

Okay, so I tried to not need them, but I have came to realize I do need the help of science with antidepressants. Now...the hunt begins, which one will work with minimal side effects and covered by my Rx insurance??   I prefer to go back to a shrink for this instead of my PCP. I was off of them for about 3 years, but my mood swings are starting to affect my personal life so back on I will go..... ~Amy

mrsamymichelle

mrsamymichelle

Facing my fears

I called my cardiologist today to see when my next appointment would be. Yes, that is a fear of mine-going to the Cardiologist. I have been waiting to get an appointment card in the mail from him, and hadn't.   Last week when I was chatting with my PCP, he asked when I go back to see him. I told him I didn't know. So my PCP asked me to call him to see when my next appointment will be.   I called today, and he had no notes written down on when I come back-so I left a voicemail for

mrsamymichelle

mrsamymichelle

My new clothes dryer

The delivery ppl delivered our new dryer today. Our old one bit the dust Saturday. I must admit, I had given up hope it would die. It had been fixed and refixed and this time it broke and we didn't want to try to fix it. WE booted it out the door and replaced him. My new one isn't anything fancy, but the dials all work and that is fancy to me!! Did I mention how quiet it is? Or is it that I don't have 5 pairs of little girl jeans clinging and clanging in there??   It came with this a

mrsamymichelle

mrsamymichelle

My Daily challenge for my left hand

Today as I was peeling potatoes for our soup tonight, I challenged myself to try, one time to put the potato peeler in my left hand, and swipe the potato with it.   The evil Amy said,"You can't silly you had a stroke, don't try..."   My challenge was only one time, after I realized I needed to readjust my thumb to steady my hand, My left hand got carried away, I must admit, my tongue was probably sticking out I was concentrating so hard, and potato peelings were landing on the floor a

mrsamymichelle

mrsamymichelle

My Daily challenge for my left hand

Today as I was peeling potatoes for our soup tonight, I challenged myself to try, one time to put the potato peeler in my left hand, and swipe the potato with it.   The evil Amy said,"You can't silly you had a stroke, don't try..."   My challenge was only one time, after I realized I needed to readjust my thumb to steady my hand, My left hand got carried away, I must admit, my tongue was probably sticking out I was concentrating so hard, and potato peelings were landing on the floor a

mrsamymichelle

mrsamymichelle

Sillly thought/Grandma's scent

Every day, I drive to pick my daughter up from school, and wait in the car line of other parents. I usually throw my car into park, and do my favorite pastime: people watch (not in the stalker kind of way) just observing other ppl in one activity of their day too.   Today, I saw, and see many times... (and guilty of)....this one parent was trying to backout of a tight parking lot, she was creeping very slow not to hit another car, but alas, here comes the handy pedestrian stranger, who ac

mrsamymichelle

mrsamymichelle

Spring cleaning??

Yes, here it is the day after Thanksgiving and my daughter and I have done some "Spring Cleaning" The temp reached mid 70's today, so we had the windows open and found ourselves in a toy tossing mood- we shed toys out of her playroom, we gave some away on freecycle, and threw away the not good enough to give away.   We had a good Thanksgiving at my parents-bought the car. WE are looking for the cars radio code, can't find it and the radio will not work until the code is entered. It looks

mrsamymichelle

mrsamymichelle

New "Used car"

My Grandma that died left behind a used car. None of her kids wanted it, and my Dad asked me if I was interested in buying it. I talked it over with hubby and we have made the decision to buy it.   1. It has 17,000 less miles than my car now 2. It is only 1 year older than my current vehicle. 3. It is the top of the line model, so it will be a step up from my car now. 4. My parents are selling it for under the blue book value to us.   So I am giving my car back to my

mrsamymichelle

mrsamymichelle

Grandma died

My lovely Grandma passed away Friday. I was able to make it down to "see her" in the hospital before she died and spent a day in her hospital room. She lived a very good life and lived to see 90 y.o., she didn't even live long enough to be 90 a month. The funeral is Tuesday. My daughter and I are leaving to go tomorrow. I am sad, just kind of numb to the fact she is gone.   I was very close to her as a child, but as an adult I didn't see /visit with her as much as I would have liked(

mrsamymichelle

mrsamymichelle

show cancelled

The show cancelled(due to unforeseen circumstances), we showed up to an empty parking lot. So then all us 5 girl's went out to a country western bar/club , got a table and talked the night away. Some danced, but I sat and watched laughing.   The country /western bar is really not my cup of tea, but it was nice to get out and "do something" I did get tired of all the depressing country songs. They played 3 songs that I liked, that were not country. Other ppl commented on how the DJ was

mrsamymichelle

mrsamymichelle

Myspace/Chippendales

Okay, I have been wrapped up in this website Myspace. Anyone else have a page?? *blush* They have Stroke survivor groups on there, but nothing good like Strokenetwork.   This blog has nothing to do with stroke.   Tonight I am going with a group of friends to see the Chippendale's dance. I am more excited about the music, then seeing the dancing.   I have lost excitement about losing weight. I still eat less, but I have stopped working out:( I should get myself back into it, b4 I

mrsamymichelle

mrsamymichelle

Happy 3rd Stroke anniversary to me!!

Today is my 3rd stroke anniversary and thankfully it only feels like another day. In fact it may have slipped my mind for the fact I had it circled on my calendar. No anxiety here. Last year I felt differently. Not much to blog. later, ~Amy

mrsamymichelle

mrsamymichelle

Dreams....

I am observing that when I dream about myself , I am always a stroke survivor with my deficits. Maybe I am accepting myself the way I am???

mrsamymichelle

mrsamymichelle

blood curdling "Mommy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Last night I awoke from a deep sleep hearing my name: "Mommy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" being screamed out by my 6 y.o. daughter. I made it to her room the fastest I could, talked to her about her nightmare, and told her to come to bed with Mommy and patted her bottom until she went back to sleep again.   She dreamed I was a vampire:(. My hubby let her watch a scary vampire show on Sunday, and I didn't buck up enough as a parent and make him change it. WE have some friction with parenting w

mrsamymichelle

mrsamymichelle