i took a "personality" test online. after i finished i was reading the results. ..."loyal, very likable, humorous( hey, i LIKE this test!!!), honest, etc....

THEN, the final analysis...." while this test does not take the place of the opinion of a licensed therapist, our results reveal that you appear to have a PARANOID PERSONALITY DISORDER AND SHOULD SEEK IMMEDIATE THERAPY FOR THIS..."

ME? PARANOID!!!!! i just sat back and took a LONG hard look at myself. let me see, i wouldn't let the gas man in my house until i verified who he was with the gas company. OKAY, he had on a city uniform, city identification that LOOKED real enough, and he was in a city marked vehicle.

in the 30 seconds it took him to explain why he had to replace a "thingamajig" on all of my neighborhood's gas stoves my mind was racing.... could he have knocked the REAL gas man over the head, stolen his vehicle, clothes and id tag, be going around the neighborhood robbing, raping, OH GOD! he could be a serial killer!!!!

anyway, he turned out to be legit. i don't think that's PARANOID, just careful. maybe i DO carry mace on my key ring. maybe i DO have a knife in my purse sharp enough to gut a deer, maybe i DO get off of an elevator if a man gets on before i'm ready to get off, maybe i DO strap my purse in the buggy at the grocery store, maybe i DO think people have ulterior motives if they are nice to me, maybe i DO keep my car doors locked in case of a carjack, maybe i DO stand 10 feet away before aproaching my vehicle in a parking lot in case someone is under my car laying in wait, maybe i DO check my backseat before getting into my car, maybe i DO look at health ratings before i eat somewhere, maybe i DO , well you get the idea.

SO, i decided to ask people who know me best. a co-worker who i trust( and i don't trust many) walked in and i said" hey kevin, do you think i'm a paranoid person?" before i could say and now BE HONEST, he blurted out, GOD YES!!!! you are one of the most paranoid people i have EVER met!!!!!" ok, what does he know.

i asked my sister, "kelly do you think i'm paranoid?. she started her reply, "now sista kim, you KNOW i have to be honest....." i asked my mother and she replied" why do you ask" ( real evasive, like she was hiding her TRUE feelings). finally i asked my 14 year old step daughter and she just left the room laughing.

OKAY, so EVERYBODY is a jokester. they ALL are against me and i KNOW IT!!!!!

i was perfectly FINE until i took that ridiculous test. everyone KNOWS they aren't reliable anyway. i am NOT paranoid. i just bet the test was rigged by one of my friends!!!!!

ttfn