before all of the dog lovers in the world get upset, let me say that this story ends happily.

BARKING DOGS!!!!!!

when i first moved into my quiet little neighborhood nearly ten years ago, the people living on either side of me were "cat people". after a couple of years a family moved in on the east side next door with FIVE DOGS. right after THAT, a single woman moved in to the west next door with one cocker spaniel that was a REAL barker and to top it off, she rarely was home and paid him little attention so he barked INCESSANTLY. day and ALL hours of the night.

all of these "new doggie neighbors" were pre-stroke. the doggie neighbors on the east would wake up at 5am, let the five doggies outside and the BARK FEST would begin. that in turn would wake up the doggie on the west ( who slept while i was at work during the day) and the old doggie to the south who only barked when the other six barked. it was MADDENNING!!!!!!!

my husband would do NOTHING about it. FINALLY , after months of taking all i could take, i wrote them each a note on my BEST cat stationery telling them what good neighbors they were but that the barking was a real problem. my east next door neighbors never spoke to me again, but they started keeping their little friends inside until later in the morning. my west next door neighbor never did a THING, but mercifully she moved not long after that.

ANYWAY, to the CURRENT doggie problem. a new doggie neighbor moved in next door about 3 years ago and while they were unloading the moving van( after i saw the two dogs), i thought....."this time i'm going to nip it in the bud, just like barnie fife says".... i introduced myself( REAL nice like) and after meeting "lucy & ethel", both shephards from germany, and petting them REAL sweetly, i mentioned the prior barking situation and she ASSURED me that her doggies NEVER bark.

well, of course they barked. and barked and barked and barked ALL hours of the day and night. i felt like they KNEW it and didn't care. so that christmas i noticed that they had both taken time off from work ( they worked second & third shifts at a hospital) and i was up real late wrapping presents and lucy and ethel were SOUND asleep. they're fine when their parents are home. so, i got a hot cup of coffee, and that tube that wrapping paper is rolled onto,, and let the games begin.

there are a lot of bushes between our houses. so, i put on ALL black clothes( like cat burglars in the movies) hid behind the bushes, laid on the ground and started rustling leaves( right by their bedroom window) BARK BARK RUFF RUFF HOWLLLLLLL, until i saw lights come on. then i stopped and lay there REAL still while they came outside to get them to hush up.

i drank a little coffee, took a bathroom break, ( about 15 minutes) and did it over and over and over in 15 minute intervals for about 3 hours. while it was going on i just lay there and giggled my ass off ( quietly of course). once while it was going on my step daughter came outside and flipped on the carport light. i whispered..."ash, turn it off , quickly!!!!!!!!!". she complied and crouched down below the bush line and whispered," kim, why are you dressed in a black tobaggan

and laying on the ground?" it's 2:00 AM?!!!!!

by this time she was on the ground with me. all i had to do was grin and start the leaf rustling again, then she couldn't stop laughing.she said" what if they call the police?"" i said I HOPE THEY DO!!!!!!!!!" what are they going to get me for? leaf rustling on my own property?". anyway, they never saw me, and it was FUN, but it didn't stop the barking.

then, i had the stroke. i was so heavily medicated for so long that the dogs didn't wake me up again until about september 04. then it was SERIOUSLY bad. i wasn't able to get proper sleep and this wasn't a game anymore. as much as i dreaded the confrontation, i wrote them a note telling them pretty much the following.

i told you when you first moved in about barking dogs. i have fed them steak at night to get 20 minutes of sleep. i have started sleeping in other rooms, i have tried ear plugs and got an ear infection, i have sat up for hours and CRIED. I ABSOLUTLEY CAN NOT TAKE IT ANYMORE. if you do NOT contain those dogs i will be forced to contact the police and let them handle it. can't you people hear the woman living behind you hanging out her window yelling SHUT UPPPPPPPP!!!!!!!!!how can you sleep through this?????? do you guys work ALL early morning and nightshifts!!!!!!!!

i expected the worst. instead i got a sincere note of apology and the fact that they truly "sleep like the dead"... they enclosed their patio, put up a privacy fence and lucy and ethel have never been quieter. around christmas this year i made them a WONDERFUL holiday chicken salad and a few weeks later ( on cat stationery) she wrote me a very sweet thank you note.

i have since explained about the stroke to her and she and her husband have been nothing but good neighbors.

finally, A HAPPY ENDING!!!!!

TTFN