Dear Diary,

i know i've been here already today. but it's raining, it's cold (37 degrees), dark and dreary. my physical pain is at a peak today and i miss Dad.

he's only been gone 2 weeks, but it already seems like it's been forever since i saw him. PLUS the little girl at our church died this week of cancer. and going to support her family at the funeral home, just seemed to stir it up all over again. i feel bad for her family. i understand completely.

my kids have pet mice & a new litter arrived the same time Dad passed. there is a runt.. we actually named him runt that has been rejected by its momma. i explained to the kids that it is very sad, but it's natures way and it won't survive without her. they cried and begged.

.... as i stayed up with my new little roommate last night, runt, i wondered what has become of my life. here i am, struggling with a loss- yet i am feeding something that is literally the size of a quarter EVERY hour... baby formula. he's is staying in a box with a heating pad. got on the mouse forum (it really exists) and was told that although tried- it is not successful when attempting to foster an orphaned mouse.

we'll see. maybe this has happened to help me get my mind focused on something positive? hmmm...

any way... it's time to feed runt.

see you tomorrow.