things are looking up as far as the fall-out of family goes.
not all- but little by little we seem to be able to pick ourselves up after loosing such a huge part of our lives. I miss dad so much. even still. but i am able to think of him now and not fall apart. i told a joke yesterday that was so corny he would have LOVED it. :roflmao:
i haven't been to his burial though since his furneral... a part of me wants to... a part of me doesn't. right now, the part of m
well... today really SUCKED!
little Runt didn't make it. yet another death in our family. i tried my best to keep something alive that was no bigger than a quarter... and i failed.
my children will be so upset when they wake in the morning. my oldest actually came in and saw; she has already cried and insisted that Runt be buried with dignity and a memorial tomorrow. agh... my third funeral in a matter of days. i may head for a melt down soon. :yikes:
on a lighter note.... w
i know i've been here already today. but it's raining, it's cold (37 degrees), dark and dreary. my physical pain is at a peak today and i miss Dad.
he's only been gone 2 weeks, but it already seems like it's been forever since i saw him. PLUS the little girl at our church died this week of cancer. and going to support her family at the funeral home, just seemed to stir it up all over again. i feel bad for her family. i understand completely.
my kids have pet mice &
my family seems to have completely fallen apart and separated since Dad died.
no one talks to anyone.
no one calls.
no one emails friendly things or conversation.
no one is attached any longer.
i don't know if it's because we are all still dealing with the loss of such a sweetie, the void in the day/routine, the disagreements in the planning of funeral/burial or even the financial issues that arise as a result of death.
i was friendless before... no
:giggle: dear diary,
this being a public space and not a private thought; i will only write here what i think is helpful, thoughtful, share-able, wise..... um.... too funny not to, irrepressible and what ever else i decide to add.
it has been two weeks since my Dad passed on. i continue to miss him. i continue to feel guilty when i forget that he is gone.
i am guilty of being glad he is no longer suffering or bound to his bed.
i wish the moments i had stayed home because of my health- i had not given in and went to him any way. i wish there had been more photo's. i wish i had owned a video recorder and been able to capture his spirit on film.
i guess i have a lot of regrets. i hope my regr