i am a WOMAN for god's sakes and i can get a shower, shave legs, moistureize and be FULLY dressed and OUT of the bathroom in under 15 minutes, 10 minutes if i am in a hurry!!!!!

NOT my husband. i don't know exactly WHY this bothers me, but it does. except maybe because we have one bathroom. ( WHY did i buy this house 10 years ago with ONE bath!!!!!!????) when HE gets in the bathroom you can COUNT on waiting a MINIMUM OF 45 MINUTES.

"beauty reigimen schedule"

first he puts in eye drops, nasal drops, and depending on his current hpyochondria, ear drops. then, he shaves. then he cuts away any unsightly nose hairs. clips any stray nails( feet and hands), picks around on his face, and scratches. then he flosses, rinses, ( ANTI-PLAQUE WASH) , BRUSHES, rinses (REGULAR MOUTH WASH) , water picks, rinses again( WITH WATER) , GARGLES: this ritual takes about 15-20 minutes.

secondly: the shower begins. he pumice stones his feet, scrubs EVERY inch of his body with a wash cloth and soap, shampoos AND conditions, and THEN uses an unscented body wash. this takes about 20-25 minutes.

third: FINALLY, the shower is off. then the DRYING begins. he dries off for about 5 minutes IN the shower. once he gets OUT, the drying continues. he dries EVERY square inch of his body. 5-10 minutes ( this is USUALLY when he starts the throat clearing)

fourth: NOW wer'e ready for the sprays, deodorizors , cologne, and lotions. after shave lotion gets applied, deodorant goes on ( he holds his arms up for 5 minutes while it dries thoroughly) body lotion, anti fungal foot spray, cologne, and THEN the hair spritz. 5-10 minutes.

THEN, he's ready to come into the bedroom ( all the while wheezing, coughing, and sneezing) ANOTHER treat to wake me up, and gets one of his allergy pills off of the night stand. then, he gets dressed. ( 15 minutes )

i can be ready for a formal event in FULL makeup and dress in LESS time than it takes this man in the bathroom EVERY SINGLE DAY!!!!! well, at LEAST he's clean!!!!