hey AJ:

I m from India but based in USand practice Hindu Religion. I will not call Hindu as religion, it is more or less way of life. I believe in God. after my stroke I read lot of religious kind of books which was talking about suffering and stuff and it refers Jesus as God and it had gave me lot of peace reading those books so I follow only 1 rule, I believe in God and you can name it whatever you want to name it it could be jesus/alllah/or 1000s indian deity's name. I think I like to view it as everybody has God within themselves too, as long as I follow right path and don't harm anyone, I should be ok doesn't matter what religion I follow. I was never religious person but I have faith, I don't know i m making any sense or not but that's my cocktail of all religions

Asha

Hiya,

Look I'm not Catholic, but I am a deacon in my Baptist church and I feel like it is because of God that I survived my stroke. Yes, I became a deacon before my stroke, and since then my faith in God has become 'deeper.'

Some have asked me something like this, 'if you're so God-right, why has he done this to you?' Well first of all, I don't place any 'blame' on God for my stroke. I've taken the attitude of not 'why me?' but of "why not me?'

I hope you get your 'problem' straightened out.

AJ

You didn't give many details about your statement: "To be told I may have made a mistake hurt me in a way I don't think I have yet overcome." So I need to ask, could they have meant that you made a mistake in the TIMING of your quest to becoming a deacon, because of the family illness got your temporarily side tracked?

Jean

My aunt did a beautiful needle point of "Footprints" and I just love the poem. I notice often that part that says "My precious child, I love you and would never, never leave you". I hold tight to that promise, and realize when I feel far from God it is because I have moved away for some reason. He is waiting for me to find my way back to Him - in fact He is carrying me through the rough places. I have to tell myself this because sometimes I confuse what I FEEL with REALITY. Just because I feel abandoned doesn't mean the feeling is reality.

I can tell you any church, Catholic, Methodist, Presbyterian, Baptist....whatever....is made up of human beings. None of us is perfect...NONE OF US...mistakes are made in judgment based on all sorts of things. The advice you were given may have been incorrect, but on the other hand you now have time to get stronger and your experiences may help others who survive life altering illness and/or accidents.

My husband is a retired Presbyterian minister with 3 masters degrees. He has taught Greek at the college level. He has ministered to the sick in hospitals as a chaplain, and worked with those afflicted with AIDS. Now he can't read or write, has heminopsia, aphasia, right-side weakness........la, la, la, la.......but God has not abandoned him or me. Someday we will know the "why" of all this - but like you, for now we say "why not?" I believe we can learn and grow from every circumstance in our life.

May God truly bless you as you grow stronger and better!

Thanks for the replies. Jean, they never gave a a real reason other than as ou said it was not a good time. My older sister became gravely ill because of an infection. She was in a coma for months and her son came to live with us. He had drug problems and gang affiliation. I became my sisters gaurdian and conservator. I look back on it and no it wasn't a good time for me. I'm not sure when a better time would be though.

I like your view on things Ann. Some people ask me why they think God has done this to me. It is like so many people believe God is there calling the shots, this guy I'll make have a stroke, this woman gets the promotion, I'm going to make the parents of these kids die in a car accident. They forget the gift of our free will that God has given us. I sure don't blame God, far from it. I guess all things are just harder now.