At least it's not raining today - I am soooo tired right now though - had OT and PT and a counseling session today.........crying is sooo very draining, and it seemd that I cry all the more because I can't stop it.

Thanks for all the support and good wishes:) No call from the neurosurgeon for the girl yet..... I know they are busy but jeezo, it's always worse when it's your own and it's not something you can fix! Tom - she's st Children's in Cincinnatias they are actuallu closer to us..At least she isn't in pain all the time. She is still having migraines ( which is what started all this) but she's finding ways to reduce the pain in addition to Tylenol - ice packs, warm shower, hot tea - she is my tea buddy - we love" Bigelow's Constant Comment". When she was little we would have tea parties with real tea and scones...tooo much fun :Clap-Hands:

Hubby spoiled me again thus weekend - got to go shopping for some cross-stitch stuff, go to a book store, and a pet store - played with the pups and kittens (I should live on a farm where I could adopt them all!). Then we went to see "The devil wears Prada" It was a pretty good movie and made me think about my life in terms of the "Andy" character - She hoes to NY to become a journalist, ends up becoming the "second assistant" to the "hottest" fashion magazine by chance -starts to become cut-throat just like all the others until the (predictable) scene where she realizes she is selling her soul for a job she really doesn't want. With me so far, okay, here's comparison of me to a really non-existent person in a movie........I was speeding right along in my questt to provide the good life for my family - becoming a pretty good (if I say so myself) programmer and web designer, had started heeding the warnings of my doc about my family history of heart disease, lost weight, cut smoking and started exercising. Still not really liking my life though and wishing I could teach full time or go back to school and become a counselor........STROKE!!!!!Guess this might really be a case of "be careful what you ask for - you might get it" I'vr got to quit moaning and groaning and start having more good days than bad - this is my opportunity for a "do-over" I just really hope that I do get the disability - it would go soo far towards providing some much needed stability.

So in the spirit of new starts:

I'll take the neuropsych tests in stride and use them as measurements of what I get to re-learn (better this time, of course :giggle: )

I have always been interested in learning about Oracle/PeopleSoft and JDEdwards specific take on that - so maybe I can wangle an entry into a training course for that,,,,,,

If that isn't an option for going back, then will focus on the counseling aspect - Prior to stroking I had been involved with helping folks in a homeless shelter and sstill am on their board as their tech advisor - even did their website et me know what you think - http://www.hearthouseindiana.org/ They are talking about developing a Habitat for Humanity program for our counties and I could really get excited about helping families get into their own homes :cheer: :cheer:

I can officially start from scratch and go where I want to go!

**** BIG DREAM***** After visiting and re-visiting the same stroke sites and still getting the "duh" look whenever I talk to someone seriously about stroke - I want to form a lobby group or some type of information dissemination group for the general public.....the statistics just blo my mind - we need a celebrity spokesperson......yep, the activist chick has arrived! Now just need to form a plan to do this....

I have signed up for the local heart/Stroke walk and am building up a team....

Have been wearing my stroke survivor t-shirt and bands - have given out a lot of them tooo - people like the color............thoughts, ideas would be appreciated.

Thanks again all for the shoulders and helping hands - much love - :hug: