I remember feeling that way in the beginning also. It took forever for the social security disability to start (nearly 5 months) and we couldn't apply for the disability retirement until we had received the award letter from ssdi, and then that took months to kick in. I had to sell the boat, and Gary's truck that he had just purchased a few months earlier. I had to barter some of his hunting stuff in order to get chiropractic adjustments as the lifting and pushing him in the wheelchair was killing my back. Somehow we managed, we took it one day at a time and we didn't have to move into a cardboard box. I've borrowed off the house so many times that our mortgage is now triple what it was before the stroke, but so far we're still making the payments. It will get better.......I promise!!!

Sarah

Hi Kerry,

I know how you feel. Exhausted and overwhelmed. Perhaps you can get some people outside the family to help you?

Even if you are not a churchgoer, there are often churches in the area who can help you. For example, Interfaith Caregivers near us will arrange for someone to visit once a week. And other volunteers can help. Another stroke survivor who could drive visited my husband every Wednesday for more than 5 years. They would just sit together for an hour or too. Also, the local high school required kids to volunteer a certain number of hours a week. That can be a source of help. And the rehab center might have something your mom can do on a regular basis. My husband sits at the rehab center 2 mornings a week and puts papers into a shredding machine with his good hand. It's his job. . ..

I arranged help through any organization I could, often finding help through word of mouth. There are also ways for you and your husband to get a better night's sleep. Baby monitors can be a help. My husband used a bell or a whistle when he needed me in the first weeks--at that time he couldn't make his way as far as the bedroom.

Can your brother at least organise some of these things for you?

Trina