Old jokes I still like

Why do we drive in parkways and park in driveways?

Why do they call it a pair of pants when it's only one?

If they call shorts shorts, why don't they call pants longs?

Why do they call it 7/11 when it's open 24 hours?

Why do they have killers but not killhims?

Why do they have victims, but not victhers?

If you saw a lawyer and an IRS auditor in the lake drowning would you

a) Go to lunch

b) Take a nap

And the answer to the age old question: How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

A woodchuck would chuck as much wood as a woodchuck could chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood.